Wednesday, September 25, 2013

Case Study No. 1011: "The Librarian Conspiracy"

Learn Vocabulary and Pronunciation English Lesson 14: The Librarian Conspiracy
This new vocabulary and pronunciation lesson will help you learn new word through interesting lessons of a bizarre nature. Your host, Teacher Phil, is an experienced alpha male genius who crafts the finest ESL lessons in the world.
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Vocabulary and Pronunciation
Lesson 14: The Librarian Conspiracy
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Librarian (n) [lahy-brair-ee-uhn]

A person who works in a library. A librarian usually has a lot of knowledge about the books in the library. Another responsibility is choosing new books to stock.

Librarians are known for being very quiet, secretive and sneaky.
So far, no crimes have ever been reported by librarians. This statistic shows how well librarians can hide their crimes from police.
Librarians always have books and thus have more knowledge than the average person.

[These are 2 librarians, trained in the art of library operation.]

Conspiracy (n) [kuhn-spir-uh-see]

A secret plan committed by people upon other people. It is usually evil, but doesn't have to be bad. A conspiracy can simply be a plan to do something to a person.

The librarians are conspiring (v) to brainwash everyone with a secret plan.
The Librarian Conspiracy is assumed to involve teaching children to become servants to all librarians.
This conspiracy has never been written on paper. There are no records. It is very secret.

[These books will be used to turn all children into slaves when they grow up.]

Secret (n) [see-krit]

Something that is done with nobody else knowing about it. Secrets can be good or bad. The purpose of a secret is to have information not known by others.

The librarians are very secretive (adj) about their plans. Nobody knows about them.
It is believed that the librarians do not meet to plan their conspiracies. It is believed that they communicate telepathically to tell one another ideas to keep everything a secret.

[The secrets of the librarians may be held somewhere in a church.]

Telepath (n) [tuh-lep-uh-thist]

A person who can communicate using the mind only. No words are needed. No speaking or hand communication. All thoughts are transferred using the mind.

It is believed that all librarians are telepaths. No person has ever seen a librarian talk before so it is assumed that they talk using direct mind-to-mind telepathy (n).
It cannot be proven that a person is a telepath because the technology does not exist. In addition, telepaths don't want non-telepaths to know of their powers.

[It is believed that this librarian is a telepath, capable of great powers.]

Lasers (n) [Ley-zers]

A concentrated beam of light designed to produce either great heat or a visible mark. Lasers can be used to cut metal, do welding, printing and also for classroom use.

It is believed that all librarians can shoot lasers from their eyes.
No proof has been offered because it is assumed that all people who see the lasers are instantly vaporized by the lasers.
Obviously, all librarians have lasers in their eyes as proven by this logical statement.

[We believe all librarians have this laser implanted into their skulls.]

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