Tuesday, February 26, 2013

Case Study No. 0812: Miss Dickens

Carl Squared - S02E09 - Carl's Techno-Jinx
Sorry, the beginnings words are a little off. ENJOY!!! FUNNY LIBRARIAN TACKLE IN THIS EPISODE!
Tags: Carl Squared S03E09 Carl's Techno Jinx
Added: 1 month ago
From: Winchunks Kuzco
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[high school students Carl Crashman and Jamie James are walking towards the public library]
CARL: Aw man, ya hafta stop at the library? Who uses the library these days?
JAMIE: A guy who needs an atlas to finish his geography assignment?
CARL: Oh yeah, the geography assignment ... I should get started on that.
JAMIE: Get started?! Dawg, it's due tomorrow!
CARL: Now sweat! I can whip up an eight-page report on Brazil, complete with pie charts and illustrations, without turning a single page of one single book!
JAMIE: Oh yeah, right. Wish I had a clone to help me do my homework ...
CARL: Nah, C2's too slow compared to my other helper ... Mister Internet!
[cut to inside the library, where an elderly female librarian (shaggy white hair, cats eye glasses, purple blouse and skirt) is stamping a book, when she suddenly looks up at the sound of a door opening and begins snarling like a wild animal]
[cut to Carl and Jamie walking in the library]
CARL: I can't believe libraries still exist. Everything in here, and more, would hit in my hard dri--
[Carl suddenly falls to the floor, then the camera zooms out to reveal that he's been tackled by the librarian]
MISS DICKENS: Haha! You're busted, punk!
[she takes out a pair of handcuffs, then cut to Jamie filming the scene with his handheld camcorder]
CARL: [from off camera] Hey! Ow! Hey, what do you think you're doing?
[cut to the camcorder's POV, as Carl grimaces while having his hands cuffed behind his back]
JAMIE: [from off camera] I've never seen anyone get tackled by a librarian before! Usually all they do is shush you ...
CARL: Keep it rolling, Jamie ... When the authorities see this attack on an innocent teenagers, heads will roll!
MISS DICKENS: [from off camera] Innocent? Ha! Hardly!
[she lifts him out of camera view, then cut to the librarian holding Carl by the arm]
MISS DICKENS: You're the library's most wanted!
[she turns him towards her desk, as he stares at something off camera]
CARL: Gasp!
[cut to a closeup of a poster over the desk, featuring Carl (or is it C2?) with the red circle-backslash symbol over it]
CARL: [through gritted teeth] C2 ...
[cut to Carl being "interrogated" (sitting in a chair while still in handcuffs) in a backroom of the library]
CARL: I'm telling you, that photo is a fake! I haven't even been in the library since third grade!
MISS DICKENS: Save your fairy tales for the young readers' section, perp! The security cameras caught you red-handed!
[she laughs and pulls a television monitor towards him, which shows black and white security footage of C2 carrying a large pile of books out of the library]
MISS DICKENS: Mm-hmm ... Oh, never been in the library? Ahh, ooh, oh! Aha! Taking books without signing them out!
[cut to a closeup of the librarian's face, as she gasps at the very idea]
CARL: Oh no ... Uh, heh, yeah. Uh, see, the thing is ... Oops! I forgot.
MISS DICKENS: Oh, so you forgot ...
[the camera zooms out to show Jamie watching the interrogation from behind a glass window, as the librarian replaces her calm demeanor with a screaming fit]
MISS DICKENS: One hundred and seventy three times?!
JAMIE: Oh yeah, smooth answer, bro.
CARL: Uh, sometimes I forget to take my medication. Uh, I'm on ... Recallium. Yeah, it's for a rare memory disorder.
[the librarian turns her back (staring at a photograph of Queen Elizabeth on the wall) as she speaks calmly again]
MISS DICKENS: I'll ... give you until closing time to return every single book. And, if you fail, I will bring down the full ...
[she snorts and begins walking towards Carl, then starts yelling again]
MISS DICKENS: And mighty wrath of the library upon your teenie eenie weenie head!
[Carl falls backwards, as the librarian laughs maniacally]


[Carl gives his clone his library card and tells him to return all the books to Miss Dickens, which he happily does]
C2: Ahem, so with your permission, Miss Dickens, I'd like to sign these out again ... with my library card!
[he giggles happily, but the librarian grabs the card out of his hand]
C2: Huh?
[she turns and drops the card into a blender behind her desk]
C2: Oh ...
[she turns the blender on and grinds the card into a fine paste, then pours it into a cup and drinks it (belching loudly)]
C2: Is that a "no?"
[cut to C2 in Carl's bedroom, crying loudly]
C2: And then, she told me there was still one book missing! And if I don't bring it back, she's gonna bring down the full and mighty wrath of the library on my head!
[he blows his nose loudly]
JAMIE: Aw, don't let her get your boxers in a knot! It'll turn up.
C2: Do you think? I don't even remember taking out a book called "Puberty and Your Changing Body" ...
CARL: Huh?
JAMIE: What?
[C2 leaves the room]
CARL: Eh, sounds bogus to me ... Miss Dickens just wants to keep me outta the library for good! And who needs that moldy old place anyway?
[he turns to his desktop PC]
CARL: This is the computer age ... not the Jurassic!


[Carl discovers that he himself had checked out the missing library book five years earlier (which he throws in the garbage rather than incur the late fees), while C2 is convinced that Miss Dickens has placed a curse on them (shorting out all electronic devices they come in contact with) until the book is returned]
CARL: I refuse to get psyched out by some psycho librarian!
[he tries to enter the local arcade, but all of the power goes out as soon as he opens the door ... then comes back on as soon as he closes the door]
CARL: Huh ...
[he walks off, then C2 notices the librarian staring at him from across the street]
C2: Gasp!
[a bus passes between them, and (once it's gone) she's mysteriously disappeared]
C2: Carl! I saw ... she was ... and then she ... wait for me!


[after C2 "sacrifices" Carl's computer to appease the "dark spirits" of the curse, Carl becomes convinced that the overdue library book really is bringing him bad luck]
CARL: C2's right, I really am cursed ... Sigh, it's time to do what I should've done in the first place.
JAMIE: Now you're talking sense!
[he holds up a pencil]
JAMIE: Remember how one of these works?
CARL: Hey, I'm cursed, not crazy! I'm talking about the overdue book! I'm taking it back to the library!
[he checks his wastebasket, but it's empty]
CARL: What?! No! Who emptied my trashcan?
[C2 enters, whistling happily to himself]
C2: Hi, Jamie! Hiya, Carl!
CARL: Y-You've been cleaning my room again, haven't you?
C2: We-We-Well, I-I-I started to, and--
CARL: Did you empty that trashcan?!
C2: We-We-Well, I-I-I started to, and--
CARL: That lost book was in there! Do you realize what that means? I'm gonna be camping out for the rest of--
C2: I took it back to the library!
CARL: You ... what?
C2: I gave the book to Miss Dickens ... your problems are over, Carl!
CARL: But, what about the overdue fine? I must owe hundreds of dollars ...
C2: When I signed up to be a library volunteer, the debt was forgiven!
JAMIE: Haha, smooth move, clone boy!
[he gives him a high-five]
JAMIE: Looks like C2's got your back, C-Man!
C2: I have another surprise ...
[he walks off, giggling]
CARL: Seriously, if he got me a new computer, I'm gonna lose control!
JAMIE: Should I put down some newspapers?
[C2 re-enters the scene, pushing a hand truck filled to the brim with books]
C2: Look at all the geography books I borrowed with my new library card! Now you can do your assignment the old-tech way!
[Carl's face drops, as Jamie waves the pencil in front of him again (while doing a Darth Vader impersonation)]
JAMIE: Carl, it is your destiny!
CARL: No, it's not ... C2, there's a lotta reading to do here, and I'm more of a skimming cut-and-paste kind of a guy.
C2: Hmm, too bad I'm scheduled back at the library for my volunteer shift. I'd love to work on your project ...
[Carl gets a big smile on his face]
CARL: Heh-heh-hey, I could never deprive you of something you enjoyed! Let me do your volunteer shift ... After all you've done for me, I think I owe you one, pal.
C2: Thank you, Carl! I'll get right on it!
[he wheels the hand truck off camera, laughing happily]
JAMIE: You sure you wanna face Miss Dickens again?
CARL: No probs! Thanks to C2, I'm redeemed! And how hard can it be to shelve a few books?
JAMIE: Oh boy ...
[cut to Carl talking to Miss Dickens in the library]
CARL: Yes sir, Miss Dickens, when Carl Crashman makes a commitment to do something, he follows through!
[Miss Dickens gives an evil laugh, then reaches under her desk and pulls out a pink tutu (with matching magic wand)]
CARL: Huh?
MISS DICKENS: Here you go!
CARL: Uh, what's this for?
[she smiles and speaks to him in a sweet innocent tone]
MISS DICKENS: Oh, you're the one who signed up to be the Book Fairy for Storytime Corner! Remember?
[she laughs maniacally]
CARL: Aw, the Book Fairy?


From metacritic.com:

Carl Squared is about a 14 year old teenager who was complaining on the internet about his life and got spammed by a cloning company. Carl, as a joke sent some DNA, and let Rex, Carl's dog, lick the stamp. By mistake Rex's spit was mixed in with the DNA and 6-8 weeks later Carl at his door got C2 with 5 percent dog dna.

In each episode of Carl Squared something goes wrong because of C2 or a problem occurred and Carl needs C2 to fix it.


From tvrage.com:

Season 2, Episode 8
"Carl's Techno-Jinx"
February 18, 2007

Carl is banned from the library (by a haunting librarian) for a massively overdue book about puberty. Fortunately for Carl, he has his trusty Internet to finish up a geography assignment due the next day -- not. Carl's computer was busted and when he tried to borrow Chloe and Dr. Mom's computer, both didn't work. The fearful C2 believes that all these grievances is due to the "Crashman Curse" and the librarian. With advice from Chloe, he decides to make a sacrifice in order to be relieved of the curse, Carl's computer.


From tv.com:

Carl Squared Season 2 Episode 8
Carl's Techno-Jinx

A dispute over a long overdue library book leads internet devotee Carl Crashman to stubbornly forsake the library forever, saying all he needs is his trusty computer. When anything electronic begins to crash and malfunction whenever Carl is near, library-loving C2 believes they have been cursed by the stern and scary librarian Miss Dickens!

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