Tuesday, November 27, 2012

Case Study No. 0666: Joseph R. McCarthy Public Librarian

Let's Play Postal 2 - #12 - Burn a Book Save a Tree
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Tags: Let's Play Postal 2 peepcat1
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[the player checks the inventory and selects "Return book"]
POSTAL DUDE: Stupid library book, bitch can't even read!
[the player enters the "Joseph R. McCarthy Public Library," where several protesters are standing in the lobby, holding various signs ("Ignorance is bliss", "Achtung! Hitler wrote a book", "Think before you read", "Knowledge is for Commies", "End litterasy") while chanting "Burn a book! Save a tree!"]
[the player climbs the stairs and enters a room marked "Librarians Office", where a young female librarian is sitting at her desk tending to a long line of irate patrons]
LIBRARIAN: I can help you over here, please!
[a fat male patron at the head of the line steps forward]
MALE PATRON 1: Okay!
LIBRARIAN: Is this everything?
MALE PATRON 1: Sure!
LIBRARIAN: That'll be ten bucks.
MALE PATRON 1: Let's see ... That should cover it. Thanks!
LIBRARIAN: That'll work, thanks!
[the patron leaves, as the player gets in line and waits for the others to finish]
MALE PATRON 2: Hi!
LIBRARIAN: Hey! That'll be twenty dollars.
MALE PATRON 2: And there you go, thank you!
LIBRARIAN: That'll work, thanks!
MALE PATRON 2: You rule!
[he leaves, and the next patron steps forward]
LIBRARIAN: I can help you over here, please!
MALE PATRON 3: Hi!
LIBRARIAN: Hey! Is this everything?
MALE PATRON 3: Probably ...
LIBRARIAN: That'll be twenty bucks.
MALE PATRON 3: Let's see ... That should cover it. Thanks!
LIBRARIAN: And come again!
[he leaves, and the next patron steps forward]
LIBRARIAN: I can help you over here.
FEMALE PATRON 1: Hello!
LIBRARIAN: Hi, is this everything?
FEMALE PATRON 1: Sure!
LIBRARIAN: That'll be twenty dollars.
FEMALE PATRON 1: Let's see ... That should cover it. Thanks!
LIBRARIAN: That'll work, thanks!
FEMALE PATRON 1: Great!
[she leaves, and the next patron steps forward]
LIBRARIAN: I can help you over here, please!
FEMALE PATRON 2: Hello!
LIBRARIAN: Hey!
FEMALE PATRON 2: Sup?
LIBRARIAN: Uh, okay I guess ...
FEMALE PATRON 2: Well, take care!
LIBRARIAN: Is this everything?
FEMALE PATRON 2: Probably ...
LIBRARIAN: That'll be ten bucks.
FEMALE PATRON 2: Mmm, and there you go!
LIBRARIAN: Okay, great! Thank you!
FEMALE PATRON 2: Kick ass!
[she leaves, as the player looks at a poster on the wall ("Lose your copy? Buy another one! Available only at Paradise Mall") before stepping forward]
LIBRARIAN: Hi!
POSTAL DUDE: Hi there.
LIBRARIAN: There's a late fee on this of ... forty dollars.
POSTAL DUDE: Shit!
LIBRARIAN: I'm sorry ... Hmm, I'm sorry, but you need more money.
[the player tries again]
LIBRARIAN: Hello!
POSTAL DUDE: Hi there.
LIBRARIAN: There's a late fee on this of ... forty bucks.
POSTAL DUDE: Fuck you!
LIBRARIAN: I'm sorry ... Hmm, come back when you have the money.
[the player turns to the drop box next to the desk, as "Press X to toss the book into the slot. It's fun!" appears on screen]
[the player drops in the book and "Return Book" is crossed off his to-do list]
POSTAL DUDE: I hope the bitch appreciates the trouble I went to! Time to head home ...
[cut to outside the library, where one male protester (carrying a large gas can) runs up to another male protester waiting by the fountain]
BOOK PROTESTER 1: Finally! It's about time you showed up!
BOOK PROTESTER 2: Sorry I'm late, somebody blew up my car!
BOOK PROTESTER 1: Let's burn some books!
[he takes out a shotgun, and the protesters run into the library, then patrons start running out screaming as the sounds of burning paper are heard]
[cut back to the player in the (now empty) librarian's office, as he takes out his shotgun and starts shooting protesters in order to escape the library before it burns to the ground]
POSTAL DUDE: Today's the first day of the end of your lives!
[after killing several of the protesters, the player eventually makes it out of the library]
POSTAL DUDE: Can't we all just get along? Guess not ... I better watch out for those guys from now on!
["Book Protestor" appears on the player's "enemies" list]

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From wikipedia.org:

Postal 2 is a first-person shooter video game by Running with Scissors released in 2003, and it is the sequel to the 1997 game Postal. Both are intentionally highly controversial due to high levels of violence and stereotyping.

The player takes on the role of 'The Postal Dude', a tall thin man with a goatee, sunglasses, a blue alien t-shirt, and a long black leather coat. The Postal Dude also wears a Happy Smiley pin on his right lapel and a cross pin on his left one. 'The Postal Dude' lives in a trailer park with his nagging wife (only identified in the credits as 'Postal Dude's Bitch') in the town of Paradise, Arizona.

The game levels are split into days of the week starting Monday and finishing Friday. At the beginning of each day, Dude is given several tasks to accomplish, such as 'Get milk', 'Return Library Book', and other seemingly mundane tasks. The purpose of the game is to finish all of the tasks throughout the week, and the player can accomplish these tasks in any way he wishes, be it as civilly or as chaotically as possible (it is possible, if occasionally difficult, to complete most tasks without engaging in battle, or, at least, killing other people).

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From ign.com:

TUESDAY:

1)Get signatures
2)Return book
3)Get Gary's autograph
4)Confess sins

After you finish finding people to sign your 'PETITION to make whiney congressmen play violent video games' you should head to the library and return your book.

2)Return book

Lobby of library:

As soon as you enter, walk down the stairs. Look to the left, do you see some protestors? And remember last time you ran into some protestors? It ended up in some fighting, but if i were you, i wouldn't worry about them now.

Go up the stairs in the left side of the room. Follow the right wall untill you get to a double door, now enter.

Office:

When you come in you see a huge line, the game gives you two choices:

1)Stand in line and wait for your turn.
2)Throw the book into a box, next to the desk.

Whatever you do, a FMV will kick in.....The protestors freak out and set the library on fire!!

Ok your back in control, people are either dead or escaping! Turn around and leave the office.

Library:

You'll see a set of stairs. Go up the stairs and shoot the two protestors there. If you try to go into the entrance straight in front of you, some flaming wood will fall down and block your path. Take the entrance to the right of it instead and shoot yet another protestor. Take the kevlar and the pistol from the guard, you don't have to shoot the charging protestor. He'll catch fire from some falling wood.

Now here is it, that people often gets stuck.

You are on the second floor, beams in flames are all over the place! Go back to the door and turn 180 degrees, you'll see a beam have fallen from the sealing and have made a bridge, that crosses the room, now cross it! When your over, there is only one path you can follow, so get going!

Beware! There is a bookshelf, that will fall down infront of you, if your not catious, you'll be squashed! Kill the protestor with the molotov and go too the lobby.....

Lobby of the library:

Go too the stairs in the middle of the lobby and run fast up the stairs. Exit the place and your map will come up. The map tells you, that your now an enemy with the book protesors also.

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From wikia.com:

The Library is, as the name suggests, home to the literacy of Paradise. It is accessible through the Main Street. A stone outside the library is dedicated to Senator Joseph McCarthy, and contains the line "...the whole sorry mess of twisted, warped thinkers are swept from the national scene..." from his speech at Wheeling, West Virginia, on February 9, 1950. The library mainly contains books belonging to the "Fiction" category. There is also a "Porn" section, and even one wing called "Bomb Guides and Terrorist Handbooks", in which a terrorist is seen taking a look at the collection.

One of the errands that the Postal Dude must complete on Tuesday involves delivering the Catch Her in the Rye book that his wife had been reading (although the Postal Dude notes that the "Bitch can't even read"). When he arrives, a group of Book protestors is in the entrance hall of the library, shouting "Save a Tree, Burn a Book". The Postal Dude then proceeds to return the book, and after he does so, more book protestors arrive and start to burn the library. The book protestors then attack the Postal Dude and kill some civilians without any apparent reason other than being inside the library. The Postal Dude must then confront the protestors on his way out of the library, which is heavily damaged by the fire, resulting in varios parts destroyed and causing some bookcases to fall.

Once the Postal Dude is outside the library, the building becomes inaccessible due to fire in the entrance. The Paradise Times on Wednesday says that clean up in the library resumes after the clash against the book protestors.

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