Tuesday, July 31, 2012

Case Study No. 0471: Bellingham Public Librarian

Boycott the Library!
Edward the nerd decides to boycott the local library, after he is kicked out for using his cellphone...
Tags: Edward Gibbs Jacob Micah Knapp brothers nerd boycott library comedy funny cellphone protest documentary
Added: 6 years ago
From: Jakeknapp
Views: 3,131

[scene opens inside the Bellingham (Wa.) Public Library, as a nerdy-looking young man is sitting at a table and talking into his cellphone]
EDWARD: Okay, "The Loving Surrender." Have you heard of that one?
[an older female librarian approaches him]
EDWARD: I-I'm sorry?
LIBRARIAN: No phones in the library.
EDWARD: Oh, really? Oh. Well, if it's an emergency, is that possible, or--
[cut to Edward storming out of the library, tripping and dropping his books]
EDWARD: Geez! Kinda clumsy today ...
[he picks up his books and walks out the door, muttering to himself]
EDWARD: No cell phones, that's a joke! Gimme a break!
[cut to Edward protesting outside of the library, holding a sign that reads "No Cellphones Allowed. Boycott the Library!"]
EDWARD: No cellphones in the library!
[he puts the sign down and looks around]
EDWARD: Where's all these people at? It's Saturday!
[he checks his watch]
EDWARD: Jesus!

Rosebud Productions Presents

[cut to Edward speaking with a female patron outside the library]
EDWARD: They don't let you have cellphones inside!
PATRON 1: Well, that's a good thing ...
EDWARD: Why? I mean, what if it's an emergency and you need to talk to someone on the phone?
PATRON 1: Then I would go find the payphone and call somebody.
EDWARD: Well, what if I don't have any pocket change?
PATRON 1: Well ...
EDWARD: I mean, sometimes emergencies--
PATRON 1: Then that's your problem.
EDWARD: Sometimes emergencies--
PATRON 1: If it's an emergency--
EDWARD: Not necessarily, some people are poor! I mean, do you have a heart against people who are rich?
PATRON 2: It's not--
[cut to Edward holding the sign over his head, as a male patron wanders by]
EDWARD: And I'm just trying to get my point across here ... Uh, boycott the library!
PATRON 2: You know, some of those cellphones do have awfully loud ring systems ...
EDWARD: Oh, sure they do! I have mine on vibrate, so y'know, it's just like I feel it in my pocket, check it real quick ...
[he pretends to hold a phone to his ear]
EDWARD: Hello?
[cut to Edward pacing back and forth, whining with his hand to his forehead]
EDWARD: Well, they know my face now!
[cut to a woman in a passing car yelling out her window]
DRIVER: No cellphones allowed!
EDWARD: No cellphones allowed!
[she starts to drive off]
DRIVER: Hell yeah!
[cut to Edward yelling to someone off camera]
EDWARD: Do you go to WWU, 'cause you seem like a student!
[cut to another male patron getting into his car]
PATRON 3: Well, good!
EDWARD: Boycott--
PATRON 3: It's good they don't let them have them!
EDWARD: Well, why not? I mean, you can talk can't ya, in there?
[he laughs]
EDWARD: It's the same as talking ... Think about it!
PATRON 3: Oh no ...
EDWARD: Think about it ...
[cut to another shot of the man getting into his car]
EDWARD: Um, no. It was an emergency, actually. I, I had an emergency matter. My wife had explosive diarrhea.
[cut to another shot of Edward holding the sign above his head]
EDWARD: Boycott the library! I have something to say here, people! I will get my message across!
[cut to another older male patron (wearing shorts) exiting the library]
PATRON 4: No, but you need to go in the library, my friend!
EDWARD: I do? Oh, okay ...
PATRON 4: You Sure do!
EDWARD: Why's that?
[the man ignores him and keeps walking]
EDWARD: Um no, I'm a geophysicist. What's your IQ? Looks like you need to get some pants on!
[cut to another male patron talking to Edward]
PATRON 5: Because the sign says--
EDWARD: I don't see any signs.
PATRON 5: I'll show the sign to you.
EDWARD: I have problems reading.
PATRON 5: It's right here ...
[the man points to a sign posted on the door, but Edward just points to his glasses]
EDWARD: I just got a new subscription, and I have problems reading. So, I mean, how fair is that for me? I mean, it's like, discriminating!
[cut to the female librarian standing outside the library and talking to Edward]
LIBRARIAN: You're being very loud.
EDWARD: I am. Well, I ... Now, the problem, the volume of my voice is a problem?
[she turns and goes back into the library]
LIBRARIAN: That's fine, as long as you do it outside ...
EDWARD: Uh, no problem, no problem. I won't be coming in there anytime soon ... You fat [beep]. That's what I have to say about that.
[he starts walking away, muttering to himself]
EDWARD: What's your name? How come you talk loud? How come you wear glasses, huh? Oh, so suddenly I'm the bad guy here? Okay, I see how it is ...
[he holds the sign above his head and starts yelling]
EDWARD: Boycott the library!
[cut to another shot of Edward yelling some more]
EDWARD: This isn't China! And it certainly as hell's not Russia! Boycott the library!


From westernfrontonline.net:

Brothers Jake Knapp, 27, and Micah Knapp, 23, are the main creative minds behind Knapp Brothers Entertainment, but their brothers Marcus Knapp, 25, and Jared Knapp, 29, are sometimes featured in their videos.

Jake Knapp stars in their upcoming parody as Edward Gibbs, a recurring nerdy character in their films, who likes to protest against anything.

"He is a likeable character, but he also likes to get a reaction," Jake said. "Gibbs is a character that we created out of things we see in everyday life. A lot of our characters are based off real experiences."


From myspace.com:

Uhm, hello. My name is Edward Gibbs. I am a scientist/teacher, and I love teaching youngsters about science and geometry and math and physics, and how to acquire dates, etc. I firmly believe in and use my first amendment rights, because freedom of speech is just great. I regularly attend protests whenever my busy schedule allows. I love reading, although I have recently decided to boycott the library, because they don't allow cell phones inside. Just ridiculous! I love all kinds of people, especially people who are environmentally friendly. I also love dancing, learning, and experiences.

Case Study No. 0470: "Style from the Stacks"

Style from the Stacks _2
ILA 2008 Annual Conference fundraiser event, "Style from the Stacks". A library inspired fashion show created by and for librarians.
Tags: ILA Librarians Fashion Library
Added: 3 years ago
From: monkeymoxie
Views: 251

[scene opens with master of ceremonies Steven Rosengard addressing the audience of assembled librarians]
STEVEN ROSENGARD: Alright, and now we have some lovely and fun beauty tips for the lipstick librarian, of course ... There are a few of you out there, maybe more than a few! Indeed! And so, we have viewed some fashions that will make you the talk of the library, but these next beauty tips are designed specifically for librarians, and will definitely make you the talk of the town, for more than the usual reasons, anyway!
[a young female librarian gets on stage, as the large screen behind them displays a slide reading "Beauty Tips from the Lipstick Librarian (Text used with permission from the author. Copyright 1997-2003 by Linda Absher. www dot lipsticklibrarian dot com)"]
LIPSTICK LIBRARIAN: What makes the Lipstick Librarian? Is it money? Fame? Beauty? A mastery of AACR2 and reference interview techniques?
[the audience laughs]
LIPSTICK LIBRARIAN: No, it's the ability to look fabulous while poking around a printer with a bent paper-clip.
[the audience laughs]
LIPSTICK LIBRARIAN: It's not easy, but here's a list of beauty tips that will even help the dowdiest of librarians come off with enough sass and attitude that would make Naomi Campbell storm off in a hissy fit ...
[the screen behind her displays a slide reading "Highlighters = High Style", and shows a female librarian using a highlighter on her eyebrows]
LIPSTICK LIBRARIAN: Love those new pastel, retro eyeshadows but can't afford the new millennium price tag? Mix and match using a rainbow assortment of highlighters! They come in those dazzling sixties shades!
[the audience laughs, then the screen displays a slide reading "Wite-out? Why not?", and shows a female librarian using white-out on her fingernails]
LIPSTICK LIBRARIAN: Why wait until after work to get your nails done? With a bottle of correction fluid, you can give yourself a salon-worthy manicure in minutes!
[the audience laughs, then the screen displays a slide reading "A healthy glow can be yours!", and shows a female librarian putting her face in front of a computer screen]
LIPSTICK LIBRARIAN: No time for a tan? Lean your face within three inches of a computer monitor for at least thirty minutes for that quick, back-from-Brasilia glow! Also great for warming up leftovers ...
[the audience laughs, then the screen displays a slide reading "Refresh to Impress!", and shows a female librarian spraying herself in the face with a can of compressed air]
LIPSTICK LIBRARIAN: Feeling a little peaked in the afternoons? Give yourself a refreshing blast from one of those pressurized air cans used for dusting computer keyboards ...
[the audience laughs, then the screen displays a slide reading "A quick no-shine solution", and shows a female librarian holding a book with her face covered in dust]
LIPSTICK LIBRARIAN: Get rid of that nasty shiny-nose problem using books that haven't been checked out since the Nixon administration! Simply flip the pages back and forth in front of your face for that sophisticated, though gray, matte finish. Note, not to be attempted to those with asthma or dust allergies ...
[the audience laughs, then the screen displays a slide reading "Tattoos and you!", and shows a female librarian flexing her bicep to reveal several ALA-themed tattoos covering her arm]
LIPSTICK LIBRARIAN: Tattooing all your round-table and association acronyms on your body is not only one of the hottest library fashion trends ... it's also handy when you need to list your memberships on those pesky conference or grant applications!
[the audience laughs, then the screen displays a slide reading "No mascara? No problem!", and shows a female librarian closing her eyes to show off some (incredibly large) fake eyelashes]
LIPSTICK LIBRARIAN: And last but not least, forgot to put on your mascara this morning? Well, paint small Post-It notes black, cut into fringes, and stick them onto your eyelids for that Liza Minelli look!
[the audience applauds, as Steven resumes his place on stage]
STEVEN ROSENGARD: Alright, I wanted to see if anyone here might have some white-out on them?
[he shows the audience his fingernails]
STEVEN ROSENGARD: I didn't really get a chance to take care of that before I got here, so see me after the show, okay?
[the audience laughs]
STEVEN ROSENGARD: Alright, so ... Of course, as you all know, green is in and recycling and being on the environmentally conscious side is very appropriate these days. It's not a passing fad, so libraries of course are going green in more ways than one. And you're about to see how a couple of the libraries have transformed the old and ordinary into the new and extraordinary!
[the screen behind him displays a slide reading "Travelling Makeup Kit & Passport Case"]
STEVEN ROSENGARD: For our next look, we have an accessory!
[a female librarian comes out carrying an old VHS case and DVD case]
STEVEN ROSENGARD: It's a travelling makeup kit and passport case ... That's right! If you have an old VHS case laying around, take the outdated little piece into a success!
[she opens it and pretends to apply makeup to her face using a powder puff, as the audience applauds]
STEVEN ROSENGARD: And of course, if you're tired of fumbling in your purse for your passport while you're traveling to those international library conferences ...
[she opens the DVD case and shows a passport inside]
STEVEN ROSENGARD: Of course, if there's funding out there for that, right?
[the audience laughs]
STEVEN ROSENGARD: Yeah, I'd like to go to a library in Bali for a couple of weeks!
[the librarian walks off stage, then the screen displays a slide reading "Friends of the Library Book Bag Rain Kimono"]
STEVEN ROSENGARD: Alright, East meets West in this Asian-inspired creation ...
[a female librarian comes out wearing a coat made entirely of book bags, as the audience applauds]
STEVEN ROSENGARD: That's a good fun look, I might hafta snatch it ...
[the audience laughs, as the librarian walks off stage, then the screen displays a slide reading "Carry All and Stacks from the City Purse"]
STEVEN ROSENGARD: Picture books aren't just for kids, as these little purses show.
[two female librarians come out carrying handbags]
STEVEN ROSENGARD: Laminated pictures from discarded picture books have been artfully assembled to create these customizable and fashionable carry-alls.
[the audience applauds]
STEVEN ROSENGARD: Thank you ladies, very nice.
[they walk off stage, then the screen displays a slide reading "Fashionably Green Collection"]
STEVEN ROSENGARD: Now, you can use something good for the environment, and something good for yourself when you put on one of these recycled creations from the Chicago Public Library.
[a female librarian comes out wearing a white dress, as the audience applauds]
STEVEN ROSENGARD: You'll be ready to host the next neighborhood cookout in this apron and jewelry set, made from old printer receipt rolls!
[she walks offstage, then another female librarian comes out wearing a "see-through" apron made of plastic, as the audience applauds]
STEVEN ROSENGARD: And rain or shine, it's a bright idea to wear this custom-made sun visor created from an old mouse pad!
[she walks offstage, then a male librarian comes out wearing a sun visor and carrying a plastic book bag, as the audience applauds before he walks offstage]
STEVEN ROSENGARD: And lastly, you'll be pretty as a picture in this dress made from magazine images, plastic wrap, and some security tape as well!
[two female librarians come out wearing paper dresses and hats, as the audience applauds]


From typepad.com:

Book jacket met evening jacket. MARC records met Marc Jacobs. The library world met the fashion world on Thursday, 25 September at the ILA Annual Conference.

Conceived by 2008 ILA Annual Conference Program Committee member Maria Pontillas of the Glenview Public Library, the event was based on the popular Bravo Television series, Project Runway. Library staff members were encouraged to submit design proposals inspired by libraries and literature.

The program featured three categories of design: Library Inspired Casual Wear, In Style @ Your Library, and the Creative Reuse Collection. Thirty-six models walked the runway, displaying designs such as "Check Me Out Library Wear," "Reading Wrap," "Book Jackets," "Due Date Maternity Wear," "Charlotte the Webrarian," an entire "green" collection, and "A Dress for the Desk Set Cocktail Fete." The evening concluded with "And They Lived Happily Ever After" - a wedding dress fashioned out of romance novels.

Steven Rosengard, a contestant in Project Runway: Season 4, served as master of ceremonies for the evening. Born and raised in Chicago, Steven's path to fashion led him to Chicago's Columbia College for fashion design, but he left after only one year to travel abroad where fashion and fabric continued to captivate him in places such as France, England, and Italy. His contributions as a Textile Preparator at Chicago's Museum of Science and Industry may be seen in exhibits such as the U-505 Submarine and Transportation Gallery. Rosengard is a rising star in Chicago's design community with his own label, Steven Rosengard Design.

At the conclusion of Style from the Stacks, ILA President Donna Dziedzic stated it best, "Like the designers on Project Runway --- Illinois libraries also face challenges. Shrinking budgets, growing workloads, inadequate staffing, changing technologies, and a demanding public challenge our libraries. But, as evident in the fashions displayed here tonight, our creativity, dedication, and resourcefulness prevail and, in the end, we always pull it together with style."

Photos of Style from the Stacks: Project Runway at ILA can be viewed at:
http://www.ila.org/events/ photos_stacks2008.htm


From rpls.ws:

On September 23-26, 2008, RPLS staff members and member librarians attended the Illinois Library Association annual Conference at Navy Pier Chicago, IL. Here are some photos from the conference!

Style from the Stacks Style Show

"Check Me Out Library Wear"
"Reading Wrap"
"Book Jackets"
"Date Due Maternity Wear"
"Book or Tee"
"Wear & Tell Dress"
"Library Cheat Skirt and Tie"
"Charlotte the Webrarian"
"Roaming Reference: Dewing It with Dewey and Dot"
"Monarch Colllage Tunic"
"Book Jacket"
"A Northern Light Word Dedication"
"A Gardening Guide Come to Life"
"Storytime on the Go"
"Little Red Riding Hood"
"Celebrating Gone With the Wind"
"Beauty tips from the Lipstick Librarian"
"Book Bag Rain Kimono"
"Fashionably Green"
"Her Discarded Materials"
"ILDS 'Mail' Model"
"Newspaper Bag Knitted Shawl"
"Party Librarian"
"Aurora's Light in the Darkness"
"Windy City Green A-Line"
"High-Fashion Low Tech"
"You've Come a Long Way Lady's Ensemble"
"Romantic Rhapsody"
"Coins in the Fountain"
"Librarian's Day Dress"
"Book Cover & Canvas Bag Ensemble"
"CD-Rom Vest & Bag"
"Sex in the System"
"Read Green Live Green"
"Clear Evening Elegance"
"A Dress for the 'Desk Set' Cocktail Fete"
"And They Lived Happily Ever After"


From lipsticklibrarian.com:

The Lipstick Librarian's Beauty Tips 'n Helpful Hints

(Note: these hints are not to be taken seriously. Following some of these tips could be dangerous, or at the very least scare the bejeezus out of pets, family and unsuspecting patrons.)

* Love those new pastel, retro eyeshadows but can't afford the new millennium price tag? Mix 'n match using a rainbow assortment of highlighters! They come in those dazzling '60s shades! (WARNING: some colors can stain permanently.)

* Tired of answering those routine reference questions like "where's the bathroom?" Writing those answers on old conference badges then pinning them on strategic parts of your body saves hours of effort and frustration.

* Forgot to put on mascara this morning? Paint small Post-It notes black, cut into fringes and stick onto eyelids for that Liza Minelli/Cabaret look!

* Plastic bands that wrap around xerox-paper cartons make nifty conference badge or eyeglass frame holders.

* Feeling a little peaked in the afternoons? Give yourself a refreshing blast from one of those pressurized air cans used for dusting computer keyboards. (WARNING: do not confuse with WD-40 or clown air-horns.)

* Make a sleek (albeit weighty) carrying case with matching jewelry from all those demo computer disks and CD-ROMs from vendors. String together with magnetic strips and velo binding.

* Wadding the perforated-hole strips from the sides of computer print-out paper makes for an excellent exfoliating body scrubber.

* Catalogers' Secret: Cornhusk lotion makes an fast-acting facial mask as well as a wallpaper stripper and thickening agent for soups and stews.

* Want to perk up storytime when telling The Hobbit? Make chain-mail clothing out of paper-clips!

* Snag those padded envelopes from ILL--the rag-paper/lint stuffing makes a wonderful mud-pack!

Case Study No. 0469: Mewt Randell

Final Fantasy Tactics Advance 2: Grimoire of the Rift - Playthrough Part 1: The Beginning (HD)
Right Here Playthrough Of Of FFTA2
Tags: Final Fantasy Tactics Advance 2: Grimoire of the Rift Playthrough Part 1: The Beginning (HD) Walkthrough
Added: 1 year ago
From: NDSMacGaming
Views: 1,320

From wikipedia.org:

"Final Fantasy Tactics Advance A2: Grimoire of the Rift" is a tactical role-playing game developed and published by Square Enix for the Nintendo DS handheld game console.

Grimoire of the Rift is the sequel to Final Fantasy Tactics Advance as well as an iteration in the Ivalice Alliance.

Like Final Fantasy Tactics Advance, the game takes place in both Ivalice and St. Ivalice. Chronologically, the Ivalice portion of the game is set some time after Final Fantasy XII,[2] while the St. Ivalice portion is set around ten years after Final Fantasy Tactics Advance.

There are seven playable races in the game: Humes, Moogles, Viera, Bangaa, and Nu Mou return from Final Fantasy Tactics Advance, while Seeq, from Final Fantasy XII, are playable for the first time. The Gria are a new race that has been introduced to the world of Ivalice.

The main character, Luso Clemens, is a boy who is told by his teacher that he will spend the rest of the afternoon helping the school librarian Mr. Randell clean the library for things such as turning up to class late, etc. Luso feels that this is unfair as school ends that afternoon for summer vacation. His teacher tells him that he has to earn his vacation and he has a "lot of earning to do". Luso goes to the library but Mr. Randell is not there; he then finds an old book. The book abruptly becomes blank in the middle. After this, the book commands that the reader should tell/write the person who should fill in this blank. He then writes his own name on the blank page, "Luso Clemens," after which he is transported into the world of Ivalice. After dropping into the middle of a forest right in front of a infamous large Crushatrice called "Klesta", he is told by a warrior named Cid that if he wishes to live he should join his clan. Luso does so, and swears fealty to the clan in front of a judge, after which he is magically given the abilities of a soldier, complete with appropriate clothing.

Luso tells Cid that he probably should be looking for a way home, as his aunt will no doubt be worried about him. Cid agrees to help him find a way home, and Luso agrees to help other people and see the world of Ivalice until he finds a way home. Along his journey he meets Adelle, a thief known as "The Cat" and Hurdy the bard. Together they face off against Khamja, a mysterious organization that specializes in illegal activities and assassinations. They also meet the great mage Lezaford who tells Luso that the book he carries is the key to going back to his world, and that since Luso wrote his name in the book, the book has focused its power upon him. Lezaford then goes on to say that the more Luso experiences and learns, so does the books' power, meaning that if he grows enough, he will be able to go home. While adventuring Luso comes up against Khamja several times, with one of these times being against an enemy who works a magic to bar judges from battle, making it possible to die and be killed. Luso also meets up with the infamous sky pirates Vaan and Penelo at different points as well. The tension between Luso and Khamja escalates when Khamja steals back a silver piece of magicite that Luso had found in the rupie mountains after a fight with Khamja. Luso's clan is then invited to the ruins by quest, only to discover it is Khamja.

There Luso meets Illua, a powerful agent in the Khamja ranks. Luso manages to defeat Illua; however the journal he carries with him glows and Illua recognises it as a grimorie and tries to attack it, only to have the book deflect her attack. The attack however transports the clan to the forbidden land and faces the hand of a powerful demon. After defeating it Lezaford shows the way back to the main land which is found inside Lezaford's cottage. There Lezaford reveals that the book Luso carried around with him is named the Grimorie of the Rift, and it is named so for opening rifts to other places, this is said to be dangerous as powerful things lay dormant on the other sides of the rifts and can destroy the world if they are allowed to come through the rifts. The book also has the power to close the rifts, which would hinder Illua as she seeks the power that is held beyond the rifts. This is what the secret organization targets Luso for, they see him as a threat to both Illua's schemes and their illegal operations including assainations and black market operations.

Luso finally confronts Illua and defeats her for good, however the confrontation allows the barrier between places and a rift opens, allowing the demon from before to come fully through the rift. After he and the clan defeat the monster he finally feels he can go home. Luso bids farewell to Cid, Adelle, Hurdy, and Lezaford before finally returning home. It is then revealed Mr. Randell is Mewt from the first game. This is slightly different from Final Fantasy Tactics Advance, in that Luso is not overly concerned with getting home, but rather focuses his attention on the opportunity he has been given. Also unlike the previous installment, the main character travels to the real Ivalice, instead of a creation of his and his friends' desires; this fact is reinforced by the reappearances of familiar characters such as Vaan and Penelo.


From wikia.com:

Mewt Randell (Mewt Randall according to the European official website) is a major character from Final Fantasy Tactics Advance. In the real world, he is shy and often times gets bullied. He befriended the protagonist Marche Radiuju and Ritz Malheur in the beginning of the story.

"Marche's classmate Mewt is an odd boy who always carries a teddy bear. Shy and a little precocious, Mewt is often picked on by other kids in school. Ever since Mewt's mother became ill and passed away, his father has had trouble at work, and Mewt's shyness has only gotten worse. The teddy bear he always carries with him was a gift from his mother. When Mewt finds an old book at a used bookstore, everything he knows changes... but is it for better or for worse?" -- Online Description

In the Tactics Advance sequel ("Final Fantasy Tactics Advance A2: Grimoire of the Rift"), Mewt makes a cameo appearance as Mr. Randell, the librarian in Luso Clemens's school in St. Ivalice. After returning from his adventures in Ivalice, Luso encounters Mr. Randell and tells him about it. Mewt replies that he believes him as he reveals that he had been to that place too, giving Luso the very Grimoire he kept with him for years. He still has his stuffed bear, which can be seen on his desk during the game's prologue.


From gamefaqs.com:

Luso - Summer vacation's so close I can taste it. I'm out the door as soon as
the teacher stops talking. Summer homework: keep a journal. That's not too bad.
Better write my name on my notebook before I forget. Don't get me wrong, I'm
not crazy about homework. Just, it could be worse. And I can already guess what
my first entry's going to be: "Summer Vacation, Day 1: Aunt chewed me out.
Grounded for a week."

Maybe this jornal thing's not such a great idea after all. Oh, we got another
assignment, due today: "My Summer Vacation." We're supposed to write our goals
for the summer. Well, here goes...

(I promise not to misbehave in class... Or at least not to get caught, hehe.)
(I promise not to oversleep in the morning... So I'll just sleep in till the
(I promise not to let the dog eat my homework... Maybe I can find a cat.)

Heh, that all sounds pretty convincing. Summer vacation, here I come!

... Not that I have any idea what I'm doing this summer. But, I guess not
having any expectations isn't all bad. I mean, whatever ends up happening,
it'll be a surprise!

*school bell*

There's the bell.

Teacher - Have a good summer. Class dismissed!

Not you, Luso Clemens! Sorry, but your vacation doesn't start quite yet. Your
friends are going home, but you're going straight to the library, young man.

Luso - Aw, c'mon, Mr. Blair! Why?

Mr. Blair - Think about it.

Luso - Mmmmm... Done. I got nothing.

Mr. Blair - Let's take a trip down memory lane... to this morning! When you
were late to my class for the - how many times is it now?

Luso - That would be... I don't know.

Mr. Blair - Enough times that you've forgotten, apparently! Luso... You're not
a bad student by any means. But, occaisonally, you require a little...
correction, shall we say.

Which is why, I have decided to put you in charge of cleaning up the library.
Maybe a little straightening up there will striaghten you out, too.

Luso - Look, I see what you're trying to do here. But the last day of school?
You gotta be kidding! I mean, it's summer vacation!

Mr. Blair - Vacations are to be earned. And you've got a lot of earning to do,
my boy. Mr. Randell's down in the library. Don't keep him waiting.

Luso - ...

Mr. Blair - And don't even think about loafing off or sneaking out. Not unless
you want me to pay a visit to your house.

Luso - ... Yes, Mr. Blair. Well, see ya! Oh, and I hope you have a really,
really great summer vacation.

*in the library*

Huh? I thought Mr. Randell was supposed to be here.

*looks around library and opens a music box; it plays a familiar themesong*

Check out that book! It looks older than Mr. Blair!

*opens book*

Wonder what it's about? The pictures are pretty cool. Swords... wizards... Huh?
That's funny. The book just stops halfway through. The pages are all blank!
Let's see what the last page with writing on it says... "One is fated to fill
these barren pages. Know you his name?"

"Know you his name"...? What's with all the backwards words? Well, I never pass
up a chance to write in a library book! I'll tell you his name! "His name is...
Luso Clemens!"

*Strange light, book teleports Luso*

*In the middle of a jungle, three figures enter*

Stranger - Oi, oi. What have we here?

*Notices giant bird*

Giant Bird -

Stranger - Why is it always the vicious ones that pay the worst? 250 gil is
barely enough to pay for our time sweeping up the feathers when we're done.

Giant Bird - *

Stranger - What, you hungry? Sorry, but I've got higher aspirations than
becoming chicken feed. Hop to it then!

*ready for battle, strange light appears and Luso appears out of nowhere in
front of Giant Bird*

Luso - M-Mr. Randell!?

Giant Bird - *Bird noise*

Luso - *turns around* Not Mr. Randell!!!

Stranger - You there!

Luso - Ack! Who are you!? You're n-not even human!

Stranger - Calm yourself, stranger. We'll protect you, if you'll let us. Join
our clan now if you care to live. I hardly need to spell out the alternative.

Luso - Join your what!?

Stranger - Our clan. You may be injured, but if you are in our clan, you will
not die.

Luso - Why should I trust you?

Giant Bird - *bird noise*

Luso - Yikes!

Stranger - Because I can guarantee you'll get no such offer from him!

Luso - O-Okay, what do I do?

Stranger - Swear your oath to the Judge. Say you'll join the clan!

*Stranger summons a Judge*

Luso - That's... a judge?

Stranger - Quickly, before the beast has time to act!

Luso - Hey, um, Judge! I swear the oath! Let me in the clan!

*Judge and Luso lights up, Luso is in new clothes and Judge disappears*

Luso - Woah, check it out!

*two little birds enter*

Stranger - Ah, he's brought the little ones along to feed. Stand back,
stranger, we'll handle this lot. Ready yourselves!

Luso - You're going to fight them?

Stranger - Once you stand back as I've told you, yes.

Luso - Hey, let me take a swing at them! I swore my oath. That means I can't
die, right?

Stranger - Harrumph! Spoken like a true greenhorn! No, you will not die, but
get a beak in your eye and you might wish you had.

Luso - Well, I didn't mean I'd go in first or anything. And I'm no fan of
getting beaked... But I won't just stand here while you do all the hard work.
C'mon, let me fight!

Stranger - Hrm... I did not intend to make you fight when I invited you to join
us, however... You promise to do exactly as I say?

Luso - Promise!

Stranger - Then you may fight. I am Cid. And you are?

Luso - Luso.

Cid - Very well, Luso. We begin!

White Mage Viera - If you are to fight with us it is best that I first explain
to you your role. In combat, speed is essential. The swift move first.
The sluggish, never. You will find, while my words may come slow, my feet move
quick. Know this: in battle, we fight not only our foes, but the terrain as
well. Master it, and move well... or your sword will eat only air.

When it comes time to move, move swiftly, but do not rush to strike. Sometimes
holding your ground is the prudent course... and your next action will come all
the sooner. There is another thing you should know. Those of different blood
and different calling move differently as well. Some are swift, some not so.

Black Mage Nu Mou - Allow me to explain "Actions". There are many actions one
might take on the field of battle. Whether it be the simple thrust of a blade,
or an ability learned through one's job. As a black mage, I use black magick. I
will show you one such magick called "fire".

*casts fire on Klesta, the Giant Bird*

Would that I could use magick whenever it pleased me. Alas, all things have a
cost. Magick is no exception. Thankfully, the energies spent in casting are
renewed over time.

Cid - Oh, and Luso - Just so you know, - I'm the one who decides what I do.
Think of me as a "guest" in your midst. I might not take orders, but we're on
the same side. Try not to forget that in the heat of battle!

*group battles Klesta; after it is weakened, it flies away*

Luso - Yeah! That wasn't so bad!

Cid - A job well done. Clan, back to town!

Luso - Um, Cid? Do you think you could, erm...

Cid - Do not worry. I didn't invite you to join our clan just to abandon you in
the wild.

Luso - You mean you'll take me with you? Thanks! I got so caught up in the
fight, I kind of forgot... But now that I think of it, I don't have any idea
where I am.

Cid - And I have questions to ask of you. Beginning with how you managed to
appear from the empty skies.

*Luso's stomach growls*

Luso - Ah... I kind of skipped lunch today...

Cid - Ha ha ha! Very well. First order of business is to go home and eat. Then,
we talk.


*Luso and Cid are eating at a table*

Cid - ... So you wrote your name in the old book, there was a flash of light,
and you dropped in on our fight.

Luso - Hey, I was more surprised than you were. Finding myself in the middle of
the woods with that chicken thing and you, Cid... I mean, you're not human! Or
a "hume", was it? Here I thought I was off to clean a library.

Cid - Ah, but you adapated quick... or perhaps it's just that you lack a
healthy sense of danger. I've never seen someone eat so well after battle!

Luso - Hey, what can I say? When you gotta eat, you gotta eat!

Cid - Apparently so. But I've changed the subject. You... came here, to our
world of Ivalice from somewhere not of Ivalice. Through that book of yours.

Luso - Um, yeah, that's about the size of it... So... how do I get back? My
aunt worries if I'm half an hour late home from school. I have to find a way

Cid - I took you in, I'll help you find a way back. Back to your world.

Luso - You will?

Cid - I will, lad. I expected as much when we took you into the clan.

Luso - Well, thanks, Cid! I guess I'll do what I can to help the clan out until
we find a way back. You got to admit, I pulled my weight back there in the
woods, huh? If I'm stuck here for a while, I might as well enjoy it. I wouldn't
mind seeing a bit of this Ivalice place.

Cid - As I said, utterly heedless of danger.

Luso - Heh. I try. So, all the people here are in the clan?

*looks around pub, and approaches group from earlier battle*

Hey, I'm Luso. Thanks for letting me join you... Um, Cid... does this clan have
a name? It must. C'mon, tell me!

Cid - We're Clan Gully. Not that it's a name many know.

Luso - Right, well... I'm Luso Clemens. A, uh, proud member of Clan Gully!
Thanks for taking me. I hope I don't slow you down too much.

*group cheers and welcomes Luso*

So, do clans do much else other than fight monsters? You'll find that most work
falls along those lines... but there are other things. Available jobs, which we
call "quests", are posted at the local pub. There'll be time enough to show you
this later.

Luso - You mean we're done for the day?

Cid - That's right. There's your welcoming party to attend to, after all.

Luso - Huh?

Cid - Barman! Refreshments for all!



*Luso is back in the library; with Luso's main theme playing from the music

*enter Mr. Randell*

Mr. Randell - Sorry, Luso. I found a few more papers to grade, and - Hmm?
What's this? *notices Luso sleeping* Up and at it, Luso! This is a library, not
a dormitory!

Luso - Huh? Mr. Randell? Mr. Randell! I...I just had the most amazing
adventure! I was in another world! I-Ivalice! It was called Ivalice!

Mr. Randell - Another world, you say?

Luso - I did so many things! Fighting monsters, riding airships...! Mr.
Randell...? I'm not making this up!

Mr. Randell - Oh, I know. You see, I've been there too. A world of swords...
and magick. It was a long time ago. You can go home now. Don't worry about
cleaning up today. You wouldn't want to waste your summer vacation in here.

*school bell rings*

Luso - Whoa...I didn't realize how late it was. My aunt's gonna kill me. Um,
guess I'll head home then. *heads out*

Mr. Randell - Luso! This notebook...doesn't it belong to you?

Luso - Hey, my journal!

*Mr. Randell hands over the journal to Luso*

Thanks, Mr. Randell. Um, see you later!

Mr. Randell - Goodbye. Enjoy the summer.

*exit Luso; Mr. Randell closes the music box*

Monday, July 30, 2012

Case Study No. 0468: Rat

Pearls Before Swine - Library Information.m4v
No description available.
Tags: Pearls Before Swine comic cartoon animation funny pig croc rat animation art
Added: 1 year ago
From: lavonhersch
Views: 2,774

Pearls Before Swine
created by Stephan Pastis

[scene opens inside a public library, as the camera focuses on the "Information Desk" sign before zooming out to reveal Rat sitting behind the desk while a male patron approaches]
PATRON: Hi, I'm looking for a book.
RAT: Then why are you bothering me?
PATRON: [pause] Because I couldn't find it ...
RAT: Then either we don't have it, or ... you're too dumb to find it.
[the patron stares at him blankly]
RAT: Either way, I'd say you're screwed.


(c)2010 RingTales LLC


From wordpress.com:

The animated Pearls are finally here. Twenty-nine of them, in fact. They were made by a company called Ringtales, the same company that does all the animated Dilbert and New Yorker cartoons.

I think many of them came out pretty funny, particularly the croc ones (at least in my opinion). And a couple of them are almost touching (strange, I know).

Also, one quick word on the voices. I already know from reader feedback that no two people hear any of their voices the same way. So I know everyone will say, "Whoa, that's not how I hear Pig's voice" or "That's not how Rat sounds." But these were the closest voices I could find to how I hear them in my head.


From washingtonpost.com:

Posted at 9:00 AM ET, 10/22/2010
Casting 'PEARLS BEFORE SWINE': Stephan Pastis & RingTales take aim at screens big and small
By Michael Cavna

A talking Larry the Croc has just come to computer screens -- and hopes are heightened that the grammatically challenged carnivore might also hit the big screen.

"Pearls Before Swine" has just "soft-launched" 29 short animations on Babelgum.com -- and creator Stephan Pastis says Hollywood is showing interest in a script based on his strip.

The "Pearls" animations are created by RingTales, the studio of "Over the Hedge" co-creator Michael Fry and producer/screenwriter Jim Cox ("Beauty and the Beast"). RingTales -- which a year ago signed a two-year deal with the Web entertainment company Babelgum -- has also created animations for such strips as "Lio," "Cul de Sac" and "Dilbert," as well as of New Yorker cartoons.

"RingTales is doing all the animation ... but I'm pretty heavily involved," Pastis tells Comic Riffs. "I helped pick voice [actors] and they showed me roughs. I'm real particular -- if a moment goes on a half-second too long, or if [an action] is not funny, I ask for voice retakes."

"Stephan has a lot of great insight," Fry tells Comic Riffs of their creative process. "He really understands his characters and what makes them work -- and he's passionate about getting it right."

Pastis says the act of seeing his strip animated allows him to view "Pearls" in a whole new light. "It forces you to relearn your own strip -- to study what exactly is going on there," says the Northern California-based cartoonist, who notes that his script for a "Pearls" feature film has recently attracted "preliminary" interest from 20th Century Fox.

One of the foremost animation challenges has been voicing the "Pearls" characters. "From 'Garfield' to Charlie Brown, the voices are never what you thought in your head," says Pastis [right]. "But this is exactly how the crocs sound to me when I write" their dialogue.

Pastis notes that of all his "Pearls" characters, the crocs are the most fertile for translating to animation. "That's the truth -- they're definitely the most 'animate-able,' if that's a word," he says. "They work the easiest. I think the strip is too word-based and subtle sometimes with Rat, who [gives voice to] my little meanderings -- so animating him is a bit of a tall order. But the crocs are more physical and they have a goofy voice -- that's why they work."

"It's a very tricky thing, because his strip is very deadpan -- you sort of read it from a distance," Fry says. "Stephan does it the right way: He lets the reader come to the joke ... So you want to maintain that deadpan, but if you stick too closely, it can really be a killer. ... Animation doesn't have the subtlety of facial expressions that live-action does -- to communicate visually -- so it's a challege to find that line and not be too reserved."

Fry agrees with Pastis that the croc characters are the ripest for transferring to animation. "The crocs are fantastic," Fry says. "What was challenging was to try to come up with a voice that was stupid enough [for them] and, at the same time, was an indistinguishable foreign accent that you couldn't identify as one type ... which would make somebody angry.

"People seem to like what we came up with."

Fry [right] speaks from a wealth of experience: When DreamWorks Animation adapted his "Over the Hedge" for the big screen in 2006, the filmmakers cast such big-name voice actors as Bruce Willis, Steve Carell, Wanda Sykes and Garry Shandling. The film opened to generally positive reviews and grossed $336-million worldwide, according to boxofficemojo.

"We can't afford to have those sorts of names" with our Babelgum-hosted animations, says Fry (who co-created "Over the Hedge" with T Lewis,), "but we put a lot of time and effort into getting the voices just right."

Pastis has also been working on getting a "Pearls" feature-film script just right. He began that Croc-centric project about two years ago. Now, Pastis and Fry say, Fox has expressed strong but preliminary interest in the project -- though that's as far as things have progressed. "It's really baby steps at this point, but Stephan has a great script and there's some definite interest," Fry says.

Fry also mentions that in a matter of weeks, RingTales will begin to feature behind-the-scenes interviews with such cartoonists as Pastis, Richard Thompson ("Cul de Sac"), Mark Tatulli ("Lio") and Paul Gilligan ("Pooch Cafe"), as well as such New Yorker cartoonists as comics editor Bob Mankoff. and Isaac Littlejohn Eddy.

"We went to the New Yorker offices on a Tuesday, when the cartoons were coming in, and did a long interview with [Mankoff]," Fry says. "That was really cool."

Case Study No. 0467: Audrey Parker (library aide)

TVLib: The 4400
Librarians in TV series:
The 4400
Season 4, Episode 3
(Audrey Parker's Come And Gone)
http://www.usanetwork.com/ series/ the4400/
Tags: Librarian 4400
Added: 4 years ago
From: tvlibrarian
Views: 1,302

[Diana and Tom enter the library]
DIANA: Ah, the public library. A hotbed for treasonous activity. Be careful what you say, Tom. How do we know they're all not in on it?
[Tom walks up to the front desk and shows his ID to the woman sitting there]
TOM: Excuse me, I'm Tom Baldwin. This is my partner, Diana Skouris. We're from NTAC.
AUDREY: NTAC? How can I help you?
TOM: Someone's been uploading sensitive material to the internet from an IP address inside this library. The branch manager told us that you were the volunteer docent in charge of the computers here?
AUDREY: Well, that's right.
DIANA: Well, the post we're interested in went up about 11:15 yesterday. Is there some way we could track down who was using the computers at that time?
AUDREY: Do you have a warrant of some kind, or did you just bring your badge?
TOM: No warrant ... yet.
DIANA: We were hoping you'd want to cooperate. This is part of an important investigation, Miss--?
AUDREY: Parker. And if I didn't think it would make trouble for this library, I wouldn't give you anything at all. Whatever happened to people's right to privacy?
TOM: Well, I appreciate how you feel, Miss Parker, but we're just trying to keep people safe. That's all.
[she turns to the computer]
AUDREY: There ... Names, log-in times, member ID numbers. Happy hunting.
TOM: Thank you.
AUDREY: "The man who trades freedom for security, does not deserve nor will he receive either."
TOM: Benjamin Franklin.
AUDREY: At least you're an educated tyrant ...


From wikipedia.org:

Audrey Parker (Constance Towers) opens the episode by reminiscing about the life she has lived and how her life has changed since taking the promicin injection. Her nurse, Hanna, helps Audrey put her diamond necklace on as she listens to her favorite song, "Dream a Little Dream of Me," and begins to astrally project. Audrey, several decades younger, is in an art gallery. She is able to see that Vanessa Martin's agent, Philip Delacroix, is not all that he seems.

The older Audrey has been logging her thoughts about promicin on her blog, making the National Threat Assessment Command (NTAC) very concerned, as her posts may convince others to take the injection. Diana is not convinced that the blogger is a threat but she agrees to assist in finding the person responsible.

Tom and Diana go to the public library which hosted the IP address from which the blog was posted. Audrey, a library volunteer, points out that they don't have a warrant, but then agrees to turn over the records of who used the computer during the time in question. She then quotes Benjamin Franklin's warning of trading freedom for security.

Later, Tom and Diana read the most recent blog post, and notice a quote from Benjamin Franklin. They realize that the blogger is in fact the volunteer, and leave to question her. While Audrey is projecting, the young, projected Audrey suddenly begins to feel a sense of vertigo, and we see that NTAC agents are studying her home. The older Audrey has obviously died and NTAC agents are investigating the scene. They find proof that she is in fact the blogger and that she suffers from rheumatoid arthritis and takes morphine injections. While they are trying to determine if it is accidental death or suicide, the young, projected Audrey begins protesting that it was a murder. All of NTAC's radio equipment briefly emits static.

Case Study No. 0466: Mrs. Smith (St. Joseph Notre Dame High School Library)

The Library Rap
Little rap song we made for the Gale Librareo Contest our sophomore year (we didn't win).

The crew takes you on a tour of their school's kickass library.

You are free to copy, share and remix this video, under these conditions: http://creativecommons.org/ licenses/by-sa/3.0/
Tags: crazystreetcrew library rap gale librareo sjnd lily jesse gabe dashiell dash nye dlugosh
Added: 3 years ago
From: crazystreetcrew
Views: 11,570

[scene opens with two teenagers dancing on the sidewalk]
STUDENT 1: Stuck here at school, and I'm thinkin' "What to do?"
[another teenager walks into the scene]
STUDENT 3: Yo, what's up, bud?
STUDENT 2: How's it goin', foo'?
STUDENT 3: We're looking for a place to be quiet and alone, where we can do all our schoolwork before we get home!
STUDENT 1: I know the place, there's no need to cry ... It's the L to the I to the B-R-A-R-Y!
[they start walking towards the library door]
STUDENT 1: We'll go into the office and we'll make a sharp right! I'm telling you man, this place is hecka tight!
STUDENT 3: Hold up guys, I fear rejection!
STUDENT 1: This place is number one for nerd and geek protection!
[they walk into the school library]
STUDENT 1: You thought it wasn't much, but look at all we got!
STUDENT 2: Yo man, you're right! It's more than I thought!
[a young female librarian carrying a laptop walks up behind them]
STUDENT 3: This is Misses Smith, our awesome librarian ... She's smart, nice, funny, and a fair disciplinarian!
LIBRARIAN: Hey guys ... I see you're in the 'brary!
LIBRARIAN: Don't you know? It's short for library!
[they put their heads down and clear their throats (as if embarrassed), when Misses Smith walks them over to the bookshelves]
LIBRARIAN: Anybody can get in if they're quiet and don't got food. This is the chillest crib for silence, peace and solitude! So keep your voices down, boys ...
[she points at one of them]
LIBRARIAN: Hey, is that gum?
STUDENT 1: Wow, guess it is! No idea where that's from ...
[he takes the gum out and puts it on one of the shelves]
STUDENT 3: Whoa, man! Look at all of these books ...
STUDENT 2: It's crazy ... Let me take a second look.
[Misses Smith takes two books off the shelf]
LIBRARIAN: "Life of Pi," "Lord of the Rings" ...
[one of the students takes two books off the shelf]
STUDENT 1: "Catcher in the Rye," "Why the Caged Bird Sings!"
[another student takes one book off the shelf]
STUDENT 3: We read everything! Classics like Jane Eyre!
[the first student takes another book off the shelf]
STUDENT 1: There's more stuff too, like ... the bio of Cher?
[they all look at the book in confusion, but one student coyly takes it out of his hands]
STUDENT 2: Uh, dude, well y'see, that's mine ...
STUDENT 3: Daschel, you like Cher?
STUDENT 2: Let's go online!
[he quickly heads for the computers to change the subject]
STUDENT 2: If you don't like books, it's cool, the 'brary's wired! Hot websites of which you'll never get tired!
LIBRARIAN: You're getting your learn on while surfing the net, just log on for all the fun you can get!
STUDENT 3: Think there's nowhere to go? On the contrary ... The freshest place to be is in the library!


From blogspot.com:

I chose this video because it shows a creative, fun side of a high school library where students are engaged. It reminds me that the library (and librarian) need to have a sense of humor.

I found this video via youtube.

Copyright information:
Saint Joseph Notre Dame High School Library
1011 Chestnut Street,
Alameda, CA 94501
jdlugosh [at] sjnd.org
A group of high school students rap about the library as an afterschool hangout.

Friday, July 27, 2012

Case Study No. 0465: Gloria Jennings, Oliver Jennings, and Tony Contiella

Thou Shalt Not Take the Lord's Name in Vain
A clip from the movie "The Ten" by David Wain. In it a woman (Gretchen Mol) travels to Mexico for vacation. There she begins a summer fling with a man who turns out to be Jesus (Justin Theroux). The entire skit is a dead on parody of the movie "Y tu mama tambien."
Tags: Gretchen Mol David Wain The Ten Mexico Justin Theroux tu mama tambien Jason Sudeikis Parody Jesus Christ
Added: 2 years ago
From: thanatos101b
Views: 6,837

[scene opens inside a public library, as a young female librarian (blonde hair, glasses, brown sweater) is checking the due date slip in a book and finds the name "Dick Inyerhole" written in pen ... so (after covering it with white-out) she picks up a book entitled "Berlitz Spanish Learner's Guide" and starts mouthing the words to herself]
GLORIA JENNINGS: "Hola ... Como esta? Estoy bien."
[she looks up from the book and smiles, pretending to have a conversation with someone]
GLORIA JENNINGS: Hola! Como esta?
[she tilts her head back and shrugs]
GLORIA JENNINGS: Estoy bien! Estoy bien!
[she looks out the window and sees a couple kissing]
GLORIA JENNINGS: [whispers] Te quiero, mi amor ...
[cut to a young nerdy-looking male librarian (red hair, glasses, yellow sweater) suddenly standing at the desk in front of her]
OLIVER JENNINGS: Brushing up on your Spanish?
GLORIA JENNINGS: Yes. No, wait a minute ... Si.
OLIVER JENNINGS: Ooh, that was very good ... Sounds just like my nanny.
[he makes a face at her accentuation of the second syllable]
OLIVER JENNINGS: Mm, that wasn't as good ... You had me at "si," but then you lost me at "gracias."
[she nods her head slightly]
OLIVER JENNINGS: Anyway, uh, I want you to meet Tony. He's gonna be filling in for you while you're in "Me-jico" all summer.
GLORIA JENNINGS: Very good, Oliver! You used the native pronunciation, which includes the "x" having an "h" sound ... "Me-jico."
[he gives a nervous laugh]
OLIVER JENNINGS: See how much fun we have together, Gloria? When are you gonna get over yourself and go out with me already?
GLORIA JENNINGS: I wish I felt that way, but ... I don't.
[Oliver tries to (awkwardly) laugh it off]
OLIVER JENNINGS: You can't blame a gal for trying ... Every day. For five years.
[she looks down]
OLIVER JENNINGS: At any rate, I want you to meet Tony, your temporary replacement.
[camera pans down to reveal a young man (brown hair, no glasses) squatting down so that he is eye-level with the desk]
TONY CONTIELLA: Hey, how's it going?
[she laughs nervously upon noticing him]
GLORIA JENNINGS: Oh, didn't see you there ...
[he gets up, then laughs nervously]
TONY CONTIELLA: Hello ... Sorry, is that better?
TONY CONTIELLA: [quietly] Yeah ...
GLORIA JENNINGS: Well, the filing system is over here. I've written down the instructions for the voice mail here.
[Tony wanders off, but she keeps talking]
GLORIA JENNINGS: And if you need anything, you can call me at--
OLIVER JENNINGS: Gloria, relax! Take your vacation ... Go wild! Have fun! Tony can handle things. Right, Tony?
[he turns, as Tony is now at the opposite end of the room, kneeling on the floor]
GLORIA JENNINGS: Maybe you're right ...
[cut to an airplane taking off, then a Spanish-speaking narrator describing the action as Gloria walks the streets of Mexico]
NARRATOR: [translated] Gloria left the next morning, headed for Villa Recuerdo, a small fishing town 360 kilometers south of Mexico City. At the age of thirty-five, she was still a virgin. Except there was this one time she did "everything but" ... with the dude from Tech Support.
[cut to Gloria being led through town by a one-legged man pulling a bicitaxi]
NARRATOR: [translated] An old friend of Gloria's father had invited her to spend the summer.
[the man stops, and she gets out to embrace an older couple]
ALFONSO ZAVATA: [translated] Gloria! How you've blossomed!
ALFONSO ZAVATA: Uh, I want to ...
ALFONSO ZAVATA: I want to ... fuck your tits. Yes?
[he smiles, but Gloria (somewhat taken aback) shakes her head]
GLORIA JENNINGS: No, no ... I don't think that's what you're trying to say.
ALFONSO ZAVATA: Uh, one moment. One moment.
[he turns to his wife]
ALFONSO ZAVATA: [translated] How do you say "fuck your tits" in English?
[cut to various shots of Gloria enjoying life in Mexico, including walking through a street market when a vendor stops her and hands her a mango]
RODRIGUEZ: Guerita, guerita! Try these.
RODRIGUEZ: Very juicy!
[she looks up, and suddenly sees a long-haired man in a sleeveless shirt carving something out of wood ... she's overcome with desire (absent-mindedly fondling her breast and squeezing the mango until the pulp comes out) and runs off in embarrassment]
RODRIGUEZ: Hey, senorita! Tres pesos for the mango!
[the carpenter stands up, as the vendor mutters to himself under his breath]
RODRIGUEZ: Jesus Christ! I needed that money to buy another mango.
[cut to Gloria and Alfonso eating at a table outdoors]
[she turns to him]
ALFONSO ZAVATA: [translated] You will join us tonight at our festival of music, wine and sensuous dance.
GLORIA JENNINGS: Gracias, Alfonzo, but ... Yo estoy tired from el air-o plane-o.
JESUS: [translated] How disappointing.
[she turns to see the carpenter walking up behind them]
ALFONSO ZAVATA: Gloria, this is Jesus.
[she slowly gets up, staring into his eyes]
ALFONSO ZAVATA: [translated] He is our VP of Market Research ... Of course, I'm kidding. He's our VP of Accounts Receivable.
[they continue staring into each other's eyes, oblivious to what Alfonso is saying]
ALFONSO ZAVATA: Again, kidding of course. He's a local handyman here in town. This time, I am serious. I assumed you knew that I was serious this time, because the "handyman" concept is certainly more realistic in the context of this small Mexican village.
GLORIA JENNINGS: [whispers] Nice to meet you.
[he casually reaches over and undoes the top button of her blouse]
JESUS: Encantado.
[he then puts his hand around her and grabs her behind]
[cut to Jesus driving a segway to the festival, as he takes Gloria by the hand and they start dancing ... as their dancing gets more sensual (and Gloria takes off her glasses and lets her hair down), the scene cuts to the two naked in a barn]
NARRATOR: [translated] They spent their days and nights together from then on. For Gloria, it was an awakening. An awakening of the soul. And an awakening of her vagina. Vagina. Vvvvvvvagina.
[the scene fades to black]
NARRATOR: [translated] I'm the vvvvagina man.
[cut to Gloria and Jesus in a small boat in the middle of a lake, putting their clothes back on]
GLORIA JENNINGS: [translated] I feel like you penetrate me, body and soul.
JESUS: [translated] You see that Bougainvillea tree?
GLORIA JENNINGS: [translated] Yes, it's beautiful.
JESUS: [translated] Wait here.
[he gets out of the boat, walks across the water, and picks a flower off the tree before bringing it back to her]
GLORIA JENNINGS: [translated] What was that about?!
JESUS: [translated] The flower is a metaphor--
GLORIA JENNINGS: [translated] No no no! You just walked on water, didn't you? Are you ... Jesus? The real "Jesus" Jesus?
JESUS: [translated] Gloria ... I was gonna tell you before, but I knew it would ruin things.
[he shrugs]
JESUS: [translated] Yes, I'm Jesus Christ. And I'm hoping that now that I've told you, we can put that on the back burner and maybe make love again.
[he starts to unbuckle his pants]
GLORIA JENNINGS: [translated] Hold on a second. Aren't you supposed to signal Armageddon?
JESUS: Yeah, si, pero ... okay.
[he gets an annoyed look on his face]
JESUS: [translated] It's a lot of work. Look, I'm gonna do it, but right now I'm really into ... this. Aren't you?
GLORIA JENNINGS: [translated] Yes, but ... Wow. This is so much to process.
JESUS: [translated] Yes, there's an eternity for the rapture, but ... the summer's only another couple of weeks.
[he leans in and kisses her]
JESUS: [translated] Get ready to experience your own second coming.
[he throws the flower overboard and jumps on top of her]
NARRATOR: [translated] It was difficult for Gloria to say goodbye to Villa Recuerdo ... and to Jesus Christ.
[cut to Gloria saying her goodbyes to the Zavatas, as Jesus fashions a wooden leg for the bicitaxi driver]
NARRATOR: [translated] But she knew her summer would not last forever.
[they leave, as Jesus wipes away a single tear]
NARRATOR: [translated] Years passed ...
[cut to Gloria back in the United States, pushing a baby carriage with Oliver by her side]
NARRATOR: [translated] Gloria eventually married Oliver. They had two children. She always had a special place in her heart for Jesus, but never saw him again ...
[camera pans over to reveal a "Prosthetics Supplies Association of America" vendor table on the sidewalk, with a long-haired man wearing a suit bent down and signing a piece of paper]
NARRATOR: [translated] Until one autumn in St. Louis ...
[the man looks up, revealing himself to be Jesus, as Gloria sees him and they hug ... then cut to the two having lunch in an outdoor cafe]
NARRATOR: [translated] They talked a lot about old times. Jesus was working as a sales rep for a medium sized prosthetics manufacturer. He had still not gotten around to the rapture. As for love, he'd dated many women over the years but nothing lasted.
[cut to Jesus and Gloria hugging, before parting ways]
NARRATOR: [translated] They said goodbye, both knowing it was unlikely they would ever meet again.
[cut to Gloria saying grace before dinner with her family]
NARRATOR: [translated] Over time, memories faded but never left entirely.
OLIVER JENNINGS: And this we pray to you, our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ.
[she smiles, then cut to Oliver and Gloria in bed making love]
GLORIA JENNINGS: Oh, Oliver ... Yes, Oliver. Oh, yeah! Oh, Jesus!
[he stops]
OLIVER JENNINGS: Whoa, whoa, whoa ... Who the hell is this Jesus guy?
GLORIA JENNINGS: Nobody, Oliver ... Don't overreact!
OLIVER JENNINGS: I'm not overreacting ... I mean, how would you like it if I yelled out Patricia's name in the middle of sex?
NARRATOR: [translated] It has been said that one summer in Mexico can change a life forever. This was not only said, it was printed in brochures. It is a registered trademark of our tourist commission.
[as the couple continue arguing, the scene fades to black]
NARRATOR: [translated] Vagina.


From wikipedia.org:

The Ten is a 2007 American comedy film, directed by David Wain and cowritten by Wain and Ken Marino, released through ThinkFilm. The film was released on August 3, 2007. The DVD was released on January 15, 2008.

Ten stories, each inspired by one of the Ten Commandments:

1. "Thou Shalt Worship No God Before Me

A guy (Adam Brody) becomes a celebrity after falling out of a plane and becoming permanently embedded in the ground. After a swift rise to stardom, he becomes prideful and arrogant, referring to himself as a god. His career falls apart and he loses everything. His fiancée (Winona Ryder) leaves him for a TV anchor man.

2. "Thou Shalt Not Take the Lord's Name in Vain"

A virginal librarian (Gretchen Mol) has a sexual awakening in Mexico with a swarthy local (Justin Theroux) who turns out to be Jesus Christ. She eventually settles down and marries her coworker (A. D. Miles), but is secretly reminded of her fling with Jesus whenever her family prays before a meal.

3. "Thou Shalt Not Murder"

A doctor (Ken Marino) kills his patient by leaving a pair of scissors inside her abdomen during surgery. Despite expecting the charges to be dropped because he left the scissors in "as a goof", the judge and jury sentence him to life in prison. The judge also disbars his lawyer, who is then told that he should consider a job as a tour guide at the local nuclear plant.

4. "Honor Thy Mother and Thy Father"

A white mother (Kerri Kenney-Silver) enlists an Arnold Schwarzenegger impersonator (Oliver Platt) to be a father figure to her black children after telling them he is their biological father. It is revealed that their father is in reality Arsenio Hall, but they decide to keep the Arnold impersonator as part of the family; despite not being able to imitate Arsenio, he can do a pretty good Eddie Murphy impression.

5. "Thou Shalt Not Covet Thy Neighbor's Goods"

A police detective (Liev Schreiber) covets his neighbor's (Joe Lo Truglio) CAT Scan machine. After continuously buying additional CAT Scan machines to one up each other, both of their wives leave them. After hitting rock bottom, the two neighbors reconcile and go out for a drink. Meanwhile, a disaster at a nuclear power plant during a school tour (led by the former lawyer from the third story) leaves a busload of school children in need of several CAT Scan machines. They arrive at the neighbors' houses but the doors are locked and the two men are at the bar, so all the children die.

6. "Thou Shalt Not Covet Thy Neighbor's Wife"

A prisoner (Rob Corddry) desires a fellow inmate's "bitch" (the doctor from the third story) for his own.

7. "Thou Shalt Not Steal"

The woman (Winona Ryder) from the first story, having recently married the TV anchor man, falls in love with a ventriloquist's puppet, steals it and runs off to have a romantic relationship with it.

8. "Thou Shalt Not Bear False Witness"

The ventriloquist, having lost his dummy and become a homeless heroin addict, is told by another homeless man a story about an animated rhinoceros (voice of H. Jon Benjamin) who earns a reputation as a liar. After learning that a band of weiner dogs is intent on infecting others with a fatal STD, the rhinoceros tries to warn everyone. Unfortunately, nobody believes him, and they all succumb to the STD (following an orgy) and die. It is then revealed that the rhinoceros now sells drugs to the homeless men.

9. "Thou Shalt Not Commit Adultery"

Jeff Reigert (Paul Rudd) presents all of these stories to the audience, while struggling with his own moral dilemma: having to choose between his beautiful wife (Famke Janssen) and his also beautiful but somewhat younger mistress (Jessica Alba).

10. "Remember the Sabbath and Keep It Holy"

The husband from the second story (A.D. Miles) skips church with his family to get naked with his friends and listen to Roberta Flack.


From themoviespoiler.com:


We see Gloria Jennings (Gretchen Mol), a librarian in NYC, practicing Spanish for her big trip to Mexico (say: May-HEE-co). Her fellow librarian Oliver (A.D. Miles) comes up and tries to ask her out, but she says no. A Spanish narrator comes up and says that Virginia 35 years old, single, and a virgin who has had one date in her life where she did, "Everything but..." She gets down to Mexico and greets an old (old like grandpa, I mean) family friend, and says in passable Spanish how glad she is to be there. In English, the guy says, "I want....fuck...your tits." Gloria blushes and says he must be trying to say something else, and the guy turns to his wife and asks her in Spanish, "Honey, how do you say 'fuck your tits' in English?" Anyway, the summer holiday is passing agreeably enough when one day while buying a mango she sees this really hot carpenter with long dark hair and dark skin (wink) staring at her (guess what the mango does). Later, we see the old man introducing Jesus (Justin Theroux) to Gloria, and after one wild night of dancing, the two hit it off, with Jesus penetrating Gloria's vagina many times (while the narrator goes, "vagina....vaaaaaagina....vaginavaginavagina.....i am the vagina man"). One day, while they are on a lake and Gloria is one day away from leaving, Jesus goes to pick Gloria a flower, walking across the water to do it (one of those shallow pools, no doubt). She sees this and finally asks if he's Jesus and is here to bring the rapture, and he says yes, but then he met her, and decided that the rapture was temporary, but love is eternal. She wilts, and after one more night of vaginavaginavagina, she goes back to new York, leaving Jesus behind. Many years later, after Gloria had ultimately married Oliver and had two small children, she saw Jesus again. They went to a diner where he says that he is still working on the rapture, but the love keeps distracting him, and Gloria goes him thinking so much of him that while having sex with Oliver that night she cries out, "Oh, Jesus!" which makes Oliver go, "Who the fuck is Jesus?"


From moviefone.com:

Not long ago I had the chance to sit down with Gretchen Mol for an exclusive interview about her upcoming projects, including the new comedy The Ten, opening August 3rd, in which she plays a virgin librarian who is deflowered by Jesus Christ himself. If you were a fan of the MTV series The State, this is the movie you've been waiting for. It's a State movie, all the way down to a wink-wink cameo from Michael Ian Black.

RS: For your character in The Ten, the glasses she wears and the whole outfit -- did they tell you to come up with your own idea of what a 35 year-old virgin should look like?

GM: No, well ... I always wanted to wear glasses, but the question was, it almost might be over the top or too obvious. But the movie kind of lends itself to these kinds of cliches -- especially my little section, I think, because it's got this torrid kind of romance novel vibe to it. So I thought the glasses would be great. And when I met with the costume designer, we were all in sync on everything.

RS: Did you watch The State's MTV Series back in the day?

GM: I'd heard of it, and since, I've seen it, but I'd seen Wet Hot American Summer. And actually, I've seen David do stand-up at the Fez Under Time Cafe years ago, so I was familiar with their stuff, and I was a huge fan of Wet Hot American Summer.

RS: So you had enough to work with, that you didn't feel the need to go back and study those old shows to get a handle.

GM: I didn't. David was very adamant about wanting people to basically play it straight, and the situation in the script, as he and Ken had written it, was just hysterical, so really it was just about taking what you know and applying it here -- just totally committing to this woman's story and her situation.

RS: Did they approach you for the role?

GM: They did. I don't know exactly how they thought of me, because I don't have a lot of history with comedy, so I was excited, but I had worked with Paul -- we did Shape of Things together, and we worked together on stage for like a year -- so he knew me really well, and I thought 'He knows that I have other facets of my personality that might not be explored yet' and they sent me the script and I was so excited, because I don't get to just play around like that, that much. And they were getting this amazing cast ... it was not a question in my mind, you know. It was in the middle of summer, and it did sort of feel like the old days of going back to summer theater, and being with a bunch of great people and having fun and making a film at the same time.

RS: The whole thing must have been pretty quick -- a few days?

GM: Well, we went to Mexico. Maybe four or five days in Mexico, and then a few days in New York.

RS: Did they use everything you shot?

GM: I think most of it, story-wise, is in there.

RS: Do you and Justin speak Spanish, or did you fake it?

GM: I studied Spanish in high-school, but I totally couldn't do it to save my life. They had some cards, and we were in Mexico, which was great, but I really worked hard before we went down, and I had most of it down. I asked a friend of mine just to say the line so I'd get the accent back and everything. But yeah, at the end of the day, a couple of the lines, it was like [babbles some nonsense] Can you just say that in my ear one more time, please?

RS: So has this made you more open to comedy, like maybe traditional romantic comedy?

GM: I've always been open -- I would love to do more of that. I really feel like that's how audiences get to know actors, in a way, through these kinds of more playful things.

Case Study No. 0464: Maria (Harvest Moon 64)

Harvest Moon 64 - Ep.5 - Be My Wife Maria!
I LOVE YOU, probably..

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Tags: Xninja11 Xninja1 xninja xninjaproductions productions videos gameplay xninja1 xnp let's play lets Harvest Moon 64 Harvest Moon 64 Ep.5 Episode five Be My Wife Maria! Goddess Festival funny hilarious farming racing super farm pokemon eating guide minecraft and friends maf surviving clean fishing watering dead rising grand theft auto iv elder scrolls
Added: 3 months ago
From: xninja1
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[Pete reads the sign in front of the library]
NARRATOR: "Flower Bud Library. Enjoy your reading. Obey the rules."
[Pete enters the library and speaks with Maria standing behind the front desk]
MARIA: Hello. Please feel free to read here.
[Pete checks one of the bookshelves]
NARRATOR: There are lots of books on cooking and knitting here.
[Pete checks another bookshelf]
NARRATOR: There are lots of books about different countries and customs here.
[Pete checks another bookshelf]
NARRATOR: There are lots of books about space and science here.
[Pete checks another bookshelf]
NARRATOR: There are lots of books about music and painting, etc. here.
[Pete checks another bookshelf]
NARRATOR: There are lots of illustrated books on animals and plants here.
[Pete walks up behind the desk and talks to Maria]
MARIA: H-h-hello. I'm the receptionist at the library. My name is Maria ... Nice to meet you.
[Pete exits the library and goes to the town square, where there is a ballot box to vote for the Goddess of the upcoming Flower Festival]
NARRATOR: Who will be the Goddess of the Flower Festival this year? Cast your votes! You make the decision!
[the player selects "Maria"]
NARRATOR: Thank you for voting!


[Pete enters the library and gives Maria a flower]
MARIA: Th-thank you very much.
[he talks to Maria again]
MARIA: H-h-hello. I'd be happy if you visited the library between jobs.
[Pete exits the library and heads to the town square to celebrate the Goddess of the Flower Festival, where he speaks with the mayor and his wife (Maria's parents)]
THOMAS: Hello, Pete. The Goddess and her entourage are coming soon.
MAYOR'S WIFE: This festival is dedicated to the Goddess of Spring. In the old days, we carried around a statue of the Goddess. But today, young girls in the village dress up in costume.
[all the young girls of the village arrive wearing dresses, while Maria (winner of the contest) appears with a wreath of flowers on her head (but no glasses)]
MARIA: I wonder how I look in this thing. It's embarrassing and I feel uneasy because I can't see people's faces very well ...
[the player selects "Looks good on you."]
MARIA: Thanks, even if you're just saying it to be nice.
THOMAS: Now it's time to choose your dance partner.
[Pete tries to pick Maria]
MARIA: The Goddess should dance with the King.
[Pete chooses another girl, then everyone begins dancing as the screen fades to black]
PETE: [in voice over] Today was a good day and I'm going to have a good sleep.


From wikia.com:

Maria is one of the eligible marriage candidates in "Harvest Moon 64" for the Nintendo 64. Maria can also be refered to as "Mary" - a rename for her character in newer versions of Harvest Moon.

She is a modest and thoughtful girl who serves as the local librarian. Her father is the Mayor. She is shy and introverted, and a bit of a bookworm. Regardless, she is always polite and sweet to all. Surprisingly, she is terrified of dogs. She loves to study insects, to the chagrin of the other girls in town.

Maria is fond of cabbage, and will even give you a recipe if you give her one. Since she rarely leaves her haven at the library, Maria is happy when people come to visit there. She is a talented organist, and can sometimes be found playing at the church. Harris, the postman, is in love with Maria, so if you decide to vie for her affection he will become your rival. Maria's birthday is the 11th of Winter, possibly making her 18 years old in the beginning of the game.

When she sprains her ankle, she'll be in the library. If you go get help, Harris, the player's rival for her affections, will help her.
You'll have a dream about the library, so the next day go to the library. Pick up the book and give it to her without talking.
If you have a pink heart with Maria, in the summer/fall she will take you to see fireflies. This includes a picture.


From ranchstory.co.uk:

Favorite things: Reading, drawing, playing music, and studying bugs.

Birthday gift for you: A beautiful picture.

Hangouts: The library, the mountains, the church, and her home.

Personality: A bit shy and self doubting, she's an honest girl who's nice to a fault.

Special photo: In the Summer, if you hang around after the shipper leaves she may stop by and show you a beautiful sight of fireflies in the mountains.

Dream: "Thank you for showing me..." ...... An old fairy tale book......? "... When will you come next time?" "We'll visit again next summer. Right, [playername]?" "Really? Will you really come again?" ... The girl is about to cry...... "What? For me? Is that OK? Thank you. I'll take care of it" "Come on...... say goodbye to little...... ... The girl was waving for a long time... ... That was...


Thinking of you during the hot season. Maria

Now is the season to look at the beautiful fall colors. Why don't you go out for a walk in the mountains? Maria

It's cold every day now. Please take care of yourself. Maria

Best wishes for the New Year. Maria



Anna: Oh, [playername]. Maria is laid up with a cold. Why don't you go visit her for a while? Good her room is over there.

(the player is taken to Maria's room)

Maria: What? Visiting me? Thank you very much.

(looking around the room)

Maria:Those are my favorite books.

Lots of cute small things.

Maria:Oh... That's an unfinished children's story... I'm embarrassed. So please don't read it.


Maria: Thank you very much for today.


Maria: If you're not busy, let's go up the mountain. There's a wonderful sight there. Good. Let's go.

[In the mountains]

Maria: Shhhhhh .... quietly.....

[at the Goddess Spring]

Maria: Look. Isn't it beautiful? Fireflies need really clean water...... They can't live in in dirty water. I hope they stay living here forever... We must try to keep the water clean.

A little self doubt

Maria: It's no good not being able to clearly say what you want to say. I should change my ways, don't you think?

>Yes, change.

Maria: ...... I, I'm sorry. I've never spoken so forthright before.

>You're fine.

Maria: I guess I was hoping deep down that you'd say I didn't have to change. You need tremendous courage to change your personality. Thank you for listening to me talk all the time. I'll try my best to be more positive.

Sprained ankle

Maria: Ouch... I seem to have twisted my ankle.

>Carry her.

Maria: Oh, I... I, I'm OK. I......

>Get help.

Maria: T.. Thank you.

Harris: No, I'm OK.

Dream realization

Maria: Hello. Please feel free to read here.

... An old children's book......?

Maria: Oh, excuse me, but that's not from the library.... it's my book. Oh... was that you who gave me the book...?


Maria: ... I thought it might be you... but I couldn't ask... Thank you very much. I was very happy.


Maria: Well, see you later... Please come again.

>I don't know

Maria: ... I'm sorry. It's a childhood memory. I can't remember the face... though I can remember events around that time. It's been more than 10 years, so even if I were to see him now, I wouldn't notice. But it's my treasure.

Love Confession

Maria: W, wa, wait.... I... have something to tell you, [playername]... I had never said this before... but I'm a little braver now...... I, I...... I like you. This is the first time I've felt this way. So I really wanted to tell you. ... I'm sorry.

(starts to walk away and turns around)

Maria: I'm so happy to like you.

Dealing with the salesman

Mayor: ... In this way, I was completey deceived. I'm sorry, dear.

Anna: That's too bad. Why don't you tell me first?

Mayor: He seemed to be in a lot of trouble, so... I thought I could use my secret savings... Oh, gosh......

Anna: Honey, please don't be depressed.

Mayor: Aren't you angry with me, dear?

Anna: I don't get angry about such things. That you're good-natured is an old story.

Mayor: ... I'm sorry. I'll look for a part-time job.

Anna: Oh, dear <3 Well, Maria will be worried if she sees that long face of yours. Try to put on a happy face for her. (Leave the town area towards the crossroads) Sammy: Well, I don't have to work for a while now. Maria: Please wait...! Well.., even if father and mother forgive you, God won't. Sammy: What? God? I don't care if other people forgive me. I don't expect my happiness to be answered with prayers. I'll work myself to become happy. Maria: Are you realy happy... getting only money? Sammy: Stop it. Don't use your own yardstick to measure other people's happiness. Well-bred girls like you can't understand. Maria: ... Don't you feel a pain in your heart when you hurt other people? Sammy: ...No. Are you afraid of hurting other people? Maria: ... I don't like it. It can't be good that people hurt other people. Sammy: You don't want to feel uncomfortable yourself. You want to feel comfortable, so you're kind to others, right? Maria: ...No, that's not it... Sammy: All men are egoistic. Well, I must be going. Maria: Please wait...! Sammy: .... Something else? Maria: I can't express myself well. Maybe you are right. But, but, I...... Sammy: Gold pendant.... God's blessing? It'll be just turned into money, you know. Good bye, young lady. (Maria begins to leave and comes over to you) Maria: Am I wrong? Is he...... happy? >He's happy.

Maria: You think so? I feel a pain my heart watching him .......Excuse me.


Maria: Praying for him...... Is it self-satisfaction after all...? .......Excuse me.

>Don't know.

Maria: ......Excuse me.

(The next day, a letter arrives)

This is too heavy for me. Please return it to the girl with the glasses. (A gold pendant is included)

(Take it to Maria)

Maria: This... I gave to him... ...... I can believe his feelings, right? .... I want to believe.

The Life and Times of a Caterpillar

Popuri: Here you go, Maria. The green caterpillar I told you about yesterday.

Maria: Wow, can I really have it?

Popuri: Yep. It's a real pest to flowers, so I have to get rid of them. But... Maria is curious.

Maria: Oh, it turns into a beautiful butterfly. It's kind of cute now, too. But it's such a shame. It's natural that they eat leaves.

Popuri: Right, and it's also natural that spiders and birds eat green caterpillars. There's no help for it.

Maria: Oh, Popuri, you are so mean...

Karen Looks Like a Bug

Karen: Quick! Quick! Get it off!

Maria: Karen, I can't get it unless you stay still.

Karen: Hurry! You're so slow!

Maria: There you go, I got it off.

Karen: Ha, ha.

Maria: This little guy looks kind of like you, Karen.

Karen: Who are you calling a grasshopper!?

Maria: Oops, sorry!

(Karen leaves in a huff)

Maria: I meant to say that your hair... is like these cool looking antennas... It was supposed to be a compliment.

Cooking fish is delish

Maria: Wow, Elli. You're good at cooking fish...

Elli: Well, we're taking a life and eating it. The least I can do is to make a good meal of it.

Maria: Maybe I'll practice cooking fish too...

Elli: Yes, I'll teach you sometime. Here you go... it's ready.

Maria: Thank you.


Ann: Maria! What are you doing!

Maria: Well... It seemed he'd have problems if he couldn't sell this, so...

Ann: You got pressured again, huh? I keep on telling you to just say no!

Maria: I'm sorry.

Ann: What are we going to do with all of this?

(You approach and talk to either Ann or Maria)

Ann: Don't you want a watermelon? 300G each!


Ann: Thank you! Here, Maria. 600G.

Maria: What?

Ann: This part is for me. I'll have it for dessert tonight. See you!

>Don't Buy

Ann: Oh, gosh!

Maria: Ann...

Maria and Harris

(Harris is making his rounds)

Maria: Excuse me... This one... please.

Harris: Yes. Certainly. Ms Maria... This doesn't have an address.

Maria: Ummmm. This is for you.

(Harris gets flustered as Maria leaves)

Maria, Harris, and the Salesman

Sammy: If you drink this "Lively Tea" everyday, you will become very healthy! And it has cosmetic effects, too. Why don't you try it. 5000G for one month!

Maria: No, I..., I...

Sammy: It's also good for dieting! And I'll add in this high-grade soap! Come on now.

Maria: ...B, but, I can't buy such expensive things.

Sammy: No, no. If you think about the cost per day, it's not expensive. You can be beautiful for just a little money.

Maria: B, b, but...

Harris: Hey! What are you doing here!?

Sammy: What? I'm just a salesman.

Harris: I heard a rumor about a salesman selling strange things. It's you, isn't it?!

Sammy: No, no. I'm just trying to help this lady become beautiful.

Harris: What?! Maria is already beautiful! She doesn't need that junk! Get out of here!

(Sammy walks off)

Sammy: Poooh. I thought she was an easy dupe...

Maria: Th... th... thank you very much... I have a hard time saying no... I should change, but... ...

Harris: No, Ms. Maria, you don't have to change! Well, I, I'll be going back to work.

Harris and Maria's marriage

Harris: Hey [playername], I'm going to get married with Maria today. Please come to the ceremony at the church!

Worrisome mother to be

Maria: ... I guess you just can't help feeling scared sometimes.

>What about?

Maria: I'm worried about having a safe birth, and whether I'll be a good mother.

>Don't worry

Maria: But.........