Friday, February 24, 2012

Case Study No. 0261: Unnamed Female Librarian (A Day at the Library)

A Day at the Library
A moving picture illustrating typical day at the venerable public library, presenting the trials and tribulations of the public library clerk when faced with the horrific circumstances of those lowliest of scoundrels, book thieves.
Tags: Library Silent Film Police
Added: 4 years ago
From: rocinante1
Views: 4,473


[scene opens with black and white footage of a male patron approaching the female librarian at the front desk, when she looks over at something off camera]
LIBRARIAN: Who's that over there?
[the patron turns around, then cut to two shady-looking female patrons loitering around a bookshelf, as one of them tries to casually reach over and place a book under the other's jacket]
LIBRARIAN: Book thieves! What shall we do?
[the patron puts his hand over his mouth in alarm]
LIBRARIAN: I have an idea!
[she whistles, and a man wearing an old-fashioned policeman's helmet appears]
LIBRARIAN: The library policeman!
[he runs at the two female book thieves (who try to discard the stolent property) and beats them with his billy club, but they soon overpower him and begin hitting him with the stolent book]
[the librarian covers her eyes as the thieves celebrate their victory, then cut to the policeman dejectedly approaching the desk in defeat]
LIBRARIAN: I have an idea!
[the librarian reaches under her desk and hands the policeman a copy of "War and Peace", which he uses to konk the two still-celebrating thieves over their heads]
[cut to the policeman bringing the two thieves before the librarian at her desk]
LIBRARY POLICEMAN: These criminals need to be reformed!
[the librarian stands up and hands each of them a library card, which they happily accept]
BOOK THIEVES: Our own library cards!
["Some time later ... " appears on screen, then cut to the male patron speaking with the librarian]
PATRON: Tell me, who are those fine citizens over there?
[cut to the two former thieves (now properly dressed and wearing glasses) reading books, then back to the librarian]
LIBRARIAN: Why, they are patrons of the library!
PATRON: Libraries really do have the ability to change lives!

(c) Justin Termini

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