Debbie does the library
MY FAVORITE PART OF THE WHOLE PLAY
Tags: debbie does the library
Added: 2 years ago
[scene opens with Donna working in the high school library, when her boyfriend Tim sneaks up behind her]
DONNA: [shelving a book] Okay, this one's supposed to go ...
DONNA: Tim! Mister Biddle will be right back! You're not supposed to be here, I'm at work!
TIM: Aw baby, even if I'm so desperate for you I could, uh ... jump off a bridge? Huh?
DONNA: [pushes him away with the book] Aw, especially not in that condition!
TIM: But you're always at work!
DONNA: Because it's my job!
TIM: Well, I don't care, Donna! I'm at the end with you!
DONNA: I've never seen you like this before, Tim ...
TIM: Because it's been like weeks since I've seen you!
DONNA: But now is not the time ...
TIM: Aw, look at me Donna baby, I'm going nuts!
DONNA: But here is not the place!
TIM: Donna, if you don't change things fast, we are over!
DONNA: Are you threatening me?
TIM: No, babe ... I just miss you, that's all.
DONNA: Aw, that is so sweet.
TIM: [starts kissing her] So can we neck?
DONNA: [wiggles away] My parents will see the hickies!
TIM: Well, let me touch your boobs under your shirt!
DONNA: I'm not wearing the right bra today!
TIM: [grabs her from behind] Well, uh, can we dry hump?
DONNA: Mister Biddle is coming right back!
TIM: Aw Donna, you're killing me, babe!
DONNA: Okay, okay, okay ...
[he puts her down]
DONNA: You want me to show you what my girlfriend showed me?
TIM: Sure, anything!
[someone off stage hands Donna a banana, while Tim sits in a chair]
TIM: Oh Donna, you're so beautiful ... What have you and your girlfriends been doing, babe?
DONNA: Oh, wait and see ...
[Donna simulates fellatio with the banana, when Mister Biddle walks in]
BIDDLE: [yelling] What in the world? Young man, I want you to leave immediately! Get out of here!
[Biddle picks him up and throws him out of the library, then takes out a handkerchief and approaches Donna]
BIDDLE: Young lady, this is absolutely outrageous! Spit that out!
[she spits out the banana into his handkerchief]
BIDDLE: Come with me to my office ...
DONNA: [sadly] Yes, Mister Biddle ...
[they enter his office]
DONNA: Mister Biddle, I--
BIDDLE: [calmly] Shut the door.
[she does as she's told, then starts pleading with the librarian]
DONNA: Oh Mister Biddle, please don't tell my parents! I'm begging you, they'll kill me! Please don't tell my parents!
BIDDLE: I am really surprised at you, Donna! You know the rules here, how could you so flauntingly break them?
DONNA: [crying] I'm sorry, Mister Biddle! I didn't mean to break the rules! I swear it will never happen again, just please don't tell my parents!
BIDDLE: Your parents should be notified! They're the ones that should deal with this! What you need, young lady, is a good spanking!
DONNA: Okay ...
[she bends over, lifts up her cheerleading skirt, and "presents" herself to Mister Biddle]
BIDDLE: [looks around nervously and then gives her one quick spank on the buttocks]
DONNA: Ow! I'm sorry!
[she starts to cry]
BIDDLE: Alright, alright! Stop crying! Stop crying!
[he hands her his handkerchief]
DONNA: Oh, thank you ...
[she realizes it's the same handkerchief with the banana in it]
BIDDLE: I won't tell your parents ...
DONNA: You won't?
BIDDLE: No, but I want something in return ...
DONNA: You do?
BIDDLE: Yes ... Now, what's this I hear about a company you girls have formed?
DONNA: You're interested in Teen Services?
BIDDLE: Mmmm ... Now, what kind of services are you providing?
DONNA: Well, we're all good girls, you know ...
BIDDLE: Good girls ...
DONNA: Mm hmm. And we will do, we will do anything that you like ... anything.
BIDDLE: Waddaya mean by anything?
DONNA: Well ... what would you like?
BIDDLE: Anything I like?
[she gets up and starts running her finger along Mister Biddle's chest]
DONNA: Yes, Mister Biddle ... You can have any-thing.
BIDDLE: Oh ... Um. Well, I-I've always wanted ... I, I--
[he gets down on his knees and starts begging]
BIDDLE: I always wanted to be bent over and spanked by a cheerleader because I'm such a bad and nasty boy!
[she puts her hand over his mouth in shock]
DONNA: Wow, Mister Biddle!
BIDDLE: Will you do it?
DONNA: Uh, well it'll cost you ... One hundred and five dollars.
[he bends over and "presents" himself to Donna]
There might not be any nudity in the musical version of 1978 porn film Debbie Does Dallas, but the play, currently at Soul Invictus Gallery and Cabaret, still pushes the envelope when it comes to raunchiness. The result is a cheesy take on just how far a group of high school cheerleaders will go to earn money to follow their cheer dreams.
Andi Watson plays Debbie, the captain of a high school cheerleading squad. She earns a spot with the pros as a Dallas Cowboys cheerleader, but there's a problem - her parents don't approve, and she doesn't have the funds to realize her dream.
Thankfully, her fellow cheerleaders are ready to help her (and themselves) earn money for the trip to Texas by getting after-school jobs. Pretty soon the girls figure out they can make more than minimum wage if they offer sexual services (the same ones they'd do with their boyfriends, only this time they'd get paid!) to their older male bosses.
The musical uses song and dance numbers to substitute the movie's more graphic scenes, but the choreography and lyrics are still scintillating enough to create an arousing effect. Just imagine the naughty moves that can be simulated with a candle ... and there are many more scandalous scenes, including a jaw-dropping shower meet-up.
The script is full of silly lines that reflect well on the actual porn genre, and the dialogue will keep you laughing throughout.
Artist Theatre Project's presentation of Debbie Does Dallas: The Musical is such a great ensemble piece because the actors featured have great, uh, chemistry. Each of the five girls has a very distinctive personality, from Tammy (Courtney Lato), the innocent one who constantly stuffs her bra with toilet paper, to Lisa (Crystalle Reed), the girl who's out to steal Debbie's boyfriend Rick (Casey Weiler) and doesn't feel guilty for doing so.
All the male roles are played by three actors who do a great job in creating a great variety of characters, from the sporting goods store owner who gives Debbie her first non-traditional job, to the high school football players who only seemed concerned with their sport and the sack.
None of the acting seems forced - all the lines are produced quite naturally, and the singing is also impressive, especially by Watson and Reed.
Besides encouraging great cast dynamics, director Jim Linde also managed to create an engaging show that keeps the ball rolling in-between scenes. The flashy costumes (or lack of) and creative set design are visually fun, as scenes transition effortlessly from the football field, to walking down the street, to the record store.
Debbie Does Dallas may have a humorous premise, but it has seriously memorable characters and a script that allows everyone to shine. It's great to be able to see such a top-notch presentation in the little Soul Invictus theater. After the show, it's hard not to feel bonded with other audience members because of the outrageous presentation you've seen.
Debbie Does Dallas: The Musical
Adapted by Erica Schmidt
Composed by Andrew Sherman
Conceived by Susan L. Schwartz
Based upon the film, by Arrangement with VCX Ltd.
Donna is a poet. She is the dark angel of the cheerleading team and a study in contradictions. She has a boyfriend, Tim, but her closest allegiance is to Tammy (who is a prude). Donna wants to experiment with sex but she doesn't want to be branded as "easy." She is concerned about what people will say and very worried about the censure of her parents. She is thoughtful and smart. Her favorite poet is probably Sylvia Plath but her favorite movie is probably "Titanic."
Mr. Biddle works at the high-school library. He is repressed and reserved. Mr. Biddle is of a forgotten generation in his principles and etiquette. (He is a male character in a porno and he does not want sex). He is smart, rash, quick to anger and passionate about poetry.