Monday, October 31, 2011

Case Study No. 0036: Staff of the New York Public Library

Who You Gonna Call?
3:36
Behind-the-scenes: http://improveverywhere.com/ 2010/05/18/ who-you-gonna-call/

For our latest mission, we brought the movie Ghostbusters to life in the reading room of The New York Public Library at 42 Street. The 1984 movie begins with a scene in the very same room, so we figured it was time for the Ghostbusters to make an encore appearance.

Buy the Improv Everywhere book: http://tinyurl.com/iebook

Edited by Matt Adams:
http://www.mattadamsapple.com/

Song by Tyler Walker
http://tylerwalkermusic.com

Space provided by the New York Public Library
http://nypl.org

This is one of over 100 different missions Improv Everywhere has executed over the past eight years in New York City. Others include Frozen Grand Central, the Food Court Musical, and the famous No Pants Subway Ride, to name a few. Visit the website to see tons of photos and video of all of our work, including behind the scenes information on how this video was made.

http://www.improveverywhere.com

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NYPL faces a $37 million City budget cut -- the harshest in its history. Visit dontclosethebook.nypl.org. to WRITE NOW to elected officials, then text "NYPL" to 27722 to donate

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Tags: ImprovEverywhere Improv Everywhere funny ghostbusters new york public library ghost
Added: 1 year ago
From: ImprovEverywhere
Views: 4,652,810

From yahoo.com:

New York Public Library visitors got quite the surprise when comedy troupe, Improv Everywhere, dressed up as the "Ghostbusters" and reenacted a scene from the famed movie about a trio of down-on-their-luck guys who turn to supernatural-seeking in order to make some money.

Though the pranksters were easily recognizable in their specter-exterminating gear, it's not as clear exactly which scene they were reenacting. Regardless, there they were in the hallowed literary halls of the Library's Rose Main Reading Room, dressed as the team of supernatural slayers, chasing around actors draped in Halloween-costumey white sheets. Observers' expressions -- those who dared to peek up from their books and laptops -- ranged from giddily amused to frightened to the typical New York "seen it all" blase.

And let's be honest: This is just a video of four guys in pajamas chasing around a couple of guys wearing sheets while a knockoff version of Ray Parker Jr.'s "Ghostbusters" theme plays in the background. (Ironic, considering that the song "Ghostbusters" is, itself, allegedly, a knockoff of Huey Lewis and the News' "I Want a New Drug.") Improv Everywhere did confirm that the music playing is an original composition that they have the complete rights to (hopefully Huey Lewis agrees with them more than he agreed with Ray Parker Jr.)

Really, the idea alone of visiting the New York Public Library dressed as the Ghostbusters is what makes this appealing. And, apparently, the library thought the same thing; surprisingly, it was the library that contacted the troupe -- which is infamous for its anarchic displays in public places -- about the idea. The New York Public Library is facing massive budget cuts and hopes to raise awareness through its Don't Close the Book campaign. And this video, they hope, will help raise the awareness of the $34 million in funding that is said to be on the chopping block.

An opening scene of the 1984 comedy smash "Ghostbusters" does take place at the New York Public Library. Columbia University researchers -- Peter Venkman, Ray Stantz and Egon Spengler (aka, Bill Murray, Dan Aykroyd and Harold Ramis) -- are on location investigating a paranormal occurrence. The scene ends with the three future Ghostbusters fleeing down the outside steps of the library after having been chased by a quite angry ghost. Unlike the comedy troupe's version, at this point in the movie, the three researchers were not yet called the Ghostbusters and did not yet wear their now-iconic jumpsuits. Also, Winston Zeddemore, the fourth Ghostbuster, had yet to join the group.

---

From improveverywhere.com:

WHO YOU GONNA CALL?
edited by Matt Adams / song by Tyler Walker

For our latest mission, we brought the movie Ghostbusters to life in the reading room of The New York Public Library at 42 Street. The 1984 movie begins with a scene in the very same room, so we figured it was time for the Ghostbusters to make an encore appearance.

Shot by: Matt Adams, Brian Fountain, Erik Martin, Caleb Heller, Kristopher Knight, and Ariane West
Photography: Katie Sokoler and Brian Fountain
Ghostbusters: Kevin Hines, Rob Lathan, Justin Purnell, Alex Scordelis
Ghosts: Ben Rodgers, Amos Vernon, Tyler Walker

The New York Public Library approached us about a month ago and asked if we would want to stage an Improv Everywhere mission on their property. The library is facing serious budget cuts, and they thought having us do something awesome there might serve to remind people of how great the NYPL is. We couldn't say no to the opportunity to do something in their gorgeous, 100 year-old Rose Main Reading Room.

It actually wasn't the first time we staged something on the NYPL grounds. Back in 2002, we held a ridiculous protest claiming to be a group called Writers Against Piracy. That mission was, of course, unauthorized. It was nice to get invited by the library this time around and to have their permission to set up our cameras. When brainstorming ideas for the mission, I immediately thought of Ghostbusters. The NYPL is heavily featured in the beginning of the movie, opening with a crane shot of the lion statue outside and cutting to the reading room. The thought of bringing the Ghostbusters back to the library 25 years later cracked me up.

We met on the steps out front and got organized. Agent Adams came up with a plan to spread our team of six camera people discreetly around the room. Most of our operators used DSLR cameras, which allowed them to blend in perfectly with the constant stream of tourists taking photos of the historic room. I went over all of the blocking and timing with the actors. They then headed inside to a staging area and got into costume.

Agent Rodgers was the first ghost to enter. He grabbed a book off of a shelf on the way in and started heading for a seat. He was quickly stopped by a security guard, who had no idea what was going on.

Guard: Sir, what are you doing?
Rodgers: Um ... haunting the library.

The guard allowed him to take a seat, and then went over to the information desk to laugh about it with another employee.

The first ghost got some nice reactions from the folks he sat by, but they eventually went back to working when it became clear the ghost was just going to sit and read a book. That is, until ghost number two entered.

He promptly sat down with his laptop and began searching Answers.Com for the question "Could a person come back to life after they die?"

After about five minutes, the final ghost made his entrance. He walked down the aisle and headed over to the dictionary stand.

With three ghosts spread out in the reading room, who you gonna call?

As soon as the Ghostbusters spotted the ghosts, Agent Lathan shouted, "Get 'em!"

All three ghosts leapt up and immediately started running around and making ghost noises.

While the ghost-phase of the mission was pretty low-key, as soon as the chase started the room came alive. The room full of library patrons and tourists all started laughing, smiling, and frantically getting out their cameras and camera phones.

It was cool to see tables full of people taking off their headphones and laughing with each other.

The whole chase lasted less than a minute, as we didn't want to be too disruptive to the people trying to get their work done. The Ghostbusters weren't able to get their hands on the ghosts and ended up following them out of the reading room. After they left, the room broke out in applause.

The Ghostbusters chase wasn't quite over yet. They followed the ghosts down the stairs and out the front door of the building!

The Ghostbusters rounded the corner onto 42nd Street and disappeared out of view in pursuit of the ghosts. My guess is that they were successful, as the Ghostbusters were spotted later in the day in good spirits posing for a photo with a young fan.

Case Study No. 0035: Unnamed Female Librarian (Be Kind Rewind)

Be Kind Rewind - Random Library Captue Scene
0:32
Be Kind Rewind - Random Library Capture Scene
Tags: be kind rewind mos def jack black ghostbusters funny parody
Added: 3 years ago
From: blaise365
Views: 15,178

[Jerry and Mike, covered in tinfoil and carrying vacuum cleaner parts to simulate Ghostbuster "uniforms", are walking around the stacks or their local library and filming]
JERRY: [whispering] We've got one right there ... Let's get a closer look.
[they jump out from behind the stacks and confront an elderly female librarian reshelving books]
JERRY: [loudly to the librarian] Hey, have you ... talked to Elvis lately?
LIBRARIAN: [puts her finger to her lips] Shhh ...
[the shuffle back behind one of the shelves]
JERRY: [whispering into the camera] We're moving onto stage two. We can capture her, we have the megapixels. You just have to stay with me, okay?
MIKE: Okay.
JERRY: Okay ...
[they jump out from behind the stacks again and start making whistling noises as they point their "proton packs" at the librarian]
LIBRARIAN: Excuse me?
[confused, she walks away]
JERRY: [feigning excitement] Yeah, we got her!

---

From nytimes.com:

In its sweet, lackadaisical way, Michel Gondry's "Be Kind Rewind" illuminates the pleasures and paradoxes of movie love. Its two main characters, a pair of Passaic, N.J., loafers named Mike and Jerry, are devotees of the Hollywood mainstream, paying tribute to well-worn classics like "Ghostbusters," "Driving Miss Daisy," "Rush Hour 2" and "The Lion King." The way they express this affection lands Mike and Jerry in a spot of copyright trouble, but they (and Mr. Gondry) provide a welcome reminder that even the slickest blockbuster is also a piece of handicraft, an artifact of somebody's nutty, unbounded ingenuity and the potential object of somebody else's innocent, childlike fascination.

Mike (Mos Def) works in a shabby video store whose owner, Mr. Fletcher (Danny Glover), has not yet made the leap to DVD. His business threatened by the dubious improvements of a city-backed redevelopment scheme, Mr. Fletcher sneaks away on a mysterious trip, leaving the blundering, well-intentioned Mike in charge of his stock of battered VHS cassettes. Jerry (Jack Black), an avant-garde auto mechanic and tireless tinkerer, suffers an accident that magnetizes his body, causing him to accidentally erase all the tapes.

So when a loyal customer named Miss Falewicz (Mia Farrow) shows up for her daily rental, Mike and Jerry must improvise. They do what anyone would: hurriedly reshoot famous movies using a camcorder, various local characters and some common household objects.

Of course, not everyone would or could figure out how to turn pizza pies and cardboard boxes into special effects. Mr. Gondry is a highly skilled and practiced professional, a visual magician responsible for such enchantments as "Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind" (in collaboration with Charlie Kaufman), "Dave Chappelle's Block Party" (with Dave Chappelle) and "The Science of Sleep" (all by himself). But as tricky and refined as his techniques may be, the spirit in which he deploys them is delightedly amateurish and winningly democratic. In the world of his films drab city neighborhoods are zones of oddity and wonder, their possibilities waiting to be unlocked by accident or whim. Daily life is a series of art projects waiting to happen.

"Be Kind Rewind" is pervaded by an easy, occasionally antic good humor. Like "The Science of Sleep," it meanders occasionally toward melancholy or misunderstanding, but for the most part avoids conflict or intense feeling. In their speech patterns and styles of behavior, Mos Def and Mr. Black seem like a couple of overgrown 12-year-olds, and Alma (Melonie Diaz), the young woman who joins their cinematic enterprise, seems less like a potential love interest than a girl given permission to enter the secret clubhouse.

In any case, Mr. Gondry's shaggy-dog neighborhood chronicle is really a loose frame for Mike and Jerry's creations, and for the exquisite black-and-white Fats Waller biopic that turns out to be their masterpiece. Miss Falewicz, who has never seen "Ghostbusters," is glad to be fooled by the clumsy, highly foreshortened version that Mike and Jerry send her home with. But their way of remaking movies — called "Sweding" for no very compelling reason — catches on even with customers who know better, and before long lines are forming around the block.

And why not? At the "Be Kind Rewind" Web site (bekindmovie.com), Mr. Black's voice defines Sweding as "putting YOU into the thing you like," and there is a quiet strain of populist defiance buried in Mr. Gondry's wonder cabinet. Commercial pop culture is, too often, understood as a top-down enterprise, its expensive, disposable products passively consumed by the public.

And yet at the same time that stuff is capable of inspiring a deep and durable sense of ownership. The movies we love belong in some profound way to us, and part of us lives inside them. Sweding is Mr. Gondry's way of making that rather abstract sense of connection literal, of suggesting that even if we are not strictly speaking the owners and authors of the movies we like, well, then, perhaps we should be.

It goes without saying that this is a naïve, utopian point of view. The travestied films in "Be Kind Rewind" are the intellectual property of large corporations (as is Mr. Gondry's movie), and you can be sure that teams of lawyers were consulted and paid before the Sweding went very far. But "Be Kind" hardly pretends otherwise. Instead it treats movies as found objects, as material to be messed around with, explored and reimagined. It connects the do-it-yourself aesthetic of YouTube and other digital diversions with the older, predigital impulse to put on a show in the backyard or play your favorite band's hits with your buddies in the garage.

And the deep charm of Mr. Gondry's film is that it allows the audience to experience it with the same kind of casual fondness. It is propelled by neither the psychology of its characters nor the machinery of its plot, but rather by a leisurely desire to pass the time, to see what happens next, to find out what would happen if you tried to re-enact "Ghostbusters" in your neighbor's kitchen. It's inviting, undemanding and altogether wonderful. You'll want to see it again, or at least Swede it yourself.

---

From earthlink.net:

BE KIND REWIND

Gondry, Michael (Director). Be Kind Rewind. United States: New Line Cinema, 2008.

Starring: Jack Black (Jerry Gerber); Mike (Mos Def)

The humor in this quirky small-budget, star-stuffed, award-nominated film comes from each viewer's familiarity with the popular movies that a group of urban survivors recreate in order to save their neighborhood video store. Jerry Gerber, almost too convincingly played by Jack Black, accidentally de-magnetizes the videos offered at his friend's workplace, and in a flash of moronic genius they refilm the highlights of the missing movies and rent them out instead. Of course popularity breeds panic as people line up to order the fractured versions of numerous classics. This is only one plot (the silly one that drives the action) in a film with deeper rivers running through it. Suspend your disbelief and rent this one. You'll see lots of Hollywood icons in minor roles. As to the library scene – what reenactment of Ghostbusters would be complete without the library sequence that establishes the film's tone? Gerber and buddy Mike (Mos Def) set up filming in a (real) library, dressed in foil suits hastily adorned with junk and duct tape, and Jack Black wears a flowery dress pulled over his foil suit to play the matronly librarian who gets chased through the stacks in the opening. A book swings from fishing line, and computer cards are flung into the air, and it's obvious these guys have great enthusiasm but Steven Spielberg they ain't. They prowl through the stacks, drawing notice from patrons who openly stare. A woman shelving books shushes them, but as she wears no ID and makes no move to interfere with their antics even when they "attack" her with "ectoplasm" (red and green garlands on twisted wire), I'm assuming she's a volunteer or maybe even a helpful patron. The children's reading room is used to recreate the hotel scene where Mike gets slimed. A fun and touching film.

Case Study No. 0034: Eleanor Twitty (Minimates)

Ghostbusters Minimates Egon Spengler and Librarian Ghost
2:11
He collects spores, molds, and fungus.
Tags: minimates ghostbusters slimer proton pack peaugh advertising commercials entertainment news web series tv video game
Added: 2 years ago
From: peaugh
Views: 17,351

From minimatescentral.com:

The Toys R Us exclusive Ghostbusters Minimates have been flying off the shelves. Here is a review of the wave 1 set of Dr Egon Spengler and the first ghost seen in the Ghostbusters film, the Library Ghost.

The ghost packed with Egon is perhaps the 3rd most well known ghost from the film (after Slimer and Mr. Stay Puft) - the Library Ghost from the opening scene at the New York Public Library.

This is the Library Ghost after the Ghostbusters attempt to "Get her!", with the evil, teeth-gnashing face. I was initially hoping that she would have a reversible head, with a more serene face on the other side representing this ghost as she was reading or shushing the Ghostbusters. However, the head of this Minimate is translucent (with a purple tint), and so a tampo on the other side might show through, creating a distraction. As such, this is probably the best move by DST. Surely, if you had to pick one of the expressions we saw Library Ghost with for a toy, the evil, monstrous one is the way to go. The face is really evil-looking, with exaggerated eyes, mouth, canine teeth, and protruding eyebrows representing the famous shot when she attacks. Library Ghost has an appropriate, old woman hairpiece that is tied into a bun on the back and which is sculpted in an almost translucent white color.

Library Ghost is mostly cast in translucent purple, with the exception of the head and claw hands, which are cast in a clearer, purple-tinted plastic. She has a very basic tampo on her chest block that gives her a little bit of detail. The Human Torch "flaming" shoulder piece comes with Library Ghost, cast in the same color purple as her body, and fits around her neck. This represents either ectoplasmic residue, or her shirt being tattered and floating. She also comes with a purple dress piece that fits over her legs. Her sole accessory is the book that she is reading when the Ghostbusters encounter her.

In conclusion, this is a very nice Minimate, and is really essential if you are a fan of the Ghostbusters film. As I noted earlier, she is amongst the most well-known ghosts from the film, but she also looks great and gives the Ghostbuster Minimates another superb ghost menace to be posed with.

Case Study No. 0033: Eleanor Twitty

Ghostbusters: The Video Game Walkthrough - Checking Out the Library Part 1
9:19
Ghostbusters: The Video Game

Guide for Nextgenwalkthroughs.com

Walkthrough for PS3/Xbox 360 version (maybe PC as well, don't know what that versions like).

This is part 1 of the walkthrough for the mission "Checking Out the Library", from the Ghostbusters video game.

Stay tuned for more videos
Tags: Ghostbusters The Video Game Achievement Walkthrough Hints Tips Guide Help Library Tutorial Xbox 360 PS3 XB360
Added: 2 years ago
From: SaggDog7
Views: 4,621

[the Ghostbusters (plus their new Recruit and minus Peter) are driving towards the museum, when Janine radios them]
JANINE: [over the intercom] Hey guys, you need to make a detour. Something big is going down. It's on 1010 WINS now.
RAY: Tune it in.
[the Recruit turns on the radio]
RADIO ANNOUNCER: --and another ghostly sighting has staff at the New York Public Library scrambling for answers.
EGON: The Gray Lady.
RAY: Let's get her for real this time ... go!
[they make a sharp turn and head in the opposite direction]
WINSTON: Whoa, what about the museum?
RAY: It's been there for a hundred and four years. Where's it gonna go today?
WINSTON: Uh, this thing you guys have for the Gray Lady borders on the weird. You know that, right?
RAY: She made us look like schmucks. Not this time.

[...]

[the Ghostbusters are looking around outside the New York Public Library]
EGON: Big crowd. Venkman would love this.
RAY: Captain McMahon from the 12th says there was a massive disturbance. Real fireworks show.
["Search the Library" appears on screen]
WINSTON: Not much going on now.
EGON: Maybe. But didn't there used to be two lions out here?
["Examine the Lion Statue" appears on screen]
RAY: Check for valences.
EGON: Hmm ... Interesting. Ray, take a look at this.
[they gather around the pedastal where the missing lion should be, then move onto the remaining lion]
RAY: Wow! Big spikes! Hey, cadet. You need to see this.
[the lion explodes as a blue ghosts shoot out of it]
EGON: Stand back!
WINSTON: Look out! There they go!
RAY: Whoa! Double Full Torso Animators! C'mon, after them!
WINSTON: You heard Stantz! Let's move!
["Pursue Ghosts Into the Library" appears on screen, as the Ghostbusters enter the library]
EGON: There they are!
[the ghosts head to the upper level, so the Ghostbusters climb up the stairs after them]
RAY: Couple of Class Five Animators. Never seen them in tandem like that! They're really agitated!
WINSTON: Switching on the packs.
RAY: All right ... take it easy, now.
[they fire their proton packs at the fleeing ghosts]
WINSTON: Hey! He said "Take it easy" ... That's not easy!
[they try shooting again]
WINSTON: Missed, damn!
RAY: Sorry, Z.
WINSTON: How about a little warning next time, fellas!?
EGON: That one's a beast, Ray. Let's chase him down. Winston, check that next doorway. See if he has any friends.
WINSTON: Leave a haunted room? I got no problem with that.
RAY: Hey, cadet. To use the Shock Blaster, it's best to get in fairly close. Its effects are powerful, but dissipate quickly over distance.
EGON: And please be careful. It's a prototype. We're trusting you with it.
RAY: The Stasis Stream will temporarily slow down paranormal entities. If you train the stream on the target long enough, you can actually stop it entirely!
["Press 2 to equip the Stasis Beam/Shock Blast" appears on screen, as the Recruit fires the Stasis Strem from his proton pack]
WINSTON: Cool! A freeze ray!
RAY: A Stasis Stream. This has nothing to do with cold, but the effect is similar.
WINSTON: When do you have the time to work on all this stuff, Egon?
EGON: I've been conducting an experiment in which I sleep an average fourteen minutes a day. Leaves me a lot of time to work.
RAY: Great! Ready to roll! Hey Hoss, you think you can handle that little fella yourself? We'll meet you back here.
["Find That Ghost" appears on screen, as the Recruit heads off to search for the ghost]
RAY: [over the walkie talkie] Stay alert. Keep your PKE Meter up. Animators can hide in anything ... Hey! Ugly just shot around that corner!
[the Recruit enters the main reading room, as Ray and Egon are walking along the upper level]
RAY: [seeing the Recruit below] Look, it's the cadet! Hey, bloodhound! We're up here, to your right!
EGON: Strong emanations. No direct source, though.
RAY: We followed our guy in here and it gave us the slip.
EGON: Detecting a very strong anomaly here ...
[several desks and books fly up into the air]
RAY: Uh oh. Here comes something big!
[the books fly together at the other end of the room, to take the form of a Book Golem]
EGON: Now that is a fine example of a Level 6 Bi-Dimensional Attractor.
["Defeat the Book Golem" appears on screen]
RAY: Egon! Did I mention what a good idea you had to come up on the balcony?
[the Recruit starts blasting the Book Golem with his proton pack]
EGON: All of its power is emitting from a single focal object!
RAY: Slow it down somehow!
EGON: The focal object is temporarily vulnerable! Grab it with your containment stream!
[the Recruit, with some support from the others, is able to defeat the Book Golem, as it explodes in a shower of burnt pages]
RAY: You got it! Fantastic!
[the room becomes eerily quiet]
RAY: Man, how much PK energy must it take to collect and animate an entity like that?
EGON: A lot. A lot of very angry energy.
RAY: How easy was that?
EGON: Wait. Not so fast. I'm getting some big fluxes here.
["Investigate the Area" appears on screen, as the Recruit takes out his PKE Meter and inspects the room]
RAY: I think it's her. Yes ... yes, it is her! Eleanor Twitty, the Librarian!
[the ghostly librarian can be seen floating around the stairwell]
EGON: Look! There she is! Meet us at the stairway door!
RAY: She went down that way!
EGON: Winston, check upstairs to see if the other Phantom doubled back.
WINSTON: [over the walkie talkie] Roger.
[the enter the stairwell, where the librarian briefly appears before disappearing]
LIBRARIAN: Shhhh ...
RAY: She shushed us again. That witch!
[they head down the stairs, as books fall off the shelves by themselves, before stopping in a large room]
EGON: PKEs out. And try to be quiet.
[all of the furniture in the room suddenly begins floating about a foot off the ground]
RAY: Oh, wow! A full stabilizing levitation! I'd say we're close to something.
EGON: Ray ...
RAY: You got something?
EGON: I've got something. Right ... here.
RAY: Kid, check that out.
[they stop in front of a bookshelf, when the Librarian (identified by the PKE Meter as a "Class IV Semi-Anchored Entity") suddenly appears]
EGON: Yaahhh!
LIBRARIAN: Shhhh ...
[the librarian floats away]
RAY: Oooh! She keeps shushing us!
[a bookcase collapses as the Librarian exits the room]
RAY: That's her! The Gray Lady! She's the first ghost we ever hunted. Man, I wish Venkman was here.
EGON: I'm pretty sure Venkman doesn't.
RAY: Easy now ... she's real skittish.
[Egon kicks the door open, as books and furniture are floating in the air, while the Librarian flies out the door]
EGON: Damn! Lost it.
[with the Librarian gone, everything stops floating and falls to the floor ... including a bookcase that blocks the door that the Librarian escaped through]
RAY: Let's go! We'll cut her off!
EGON: These readings are off the charts! Now I'll have to make new charts ...
[they enter a book depository, when the lights suddenly go out]
RAY: Wow! Now listen. This place is reading like a psychic pressure cooker. Prime your thrower. Everybody stick close together.
[books begin flying around]
RAY: Wow! What was that?
EGON: Here, this way! Quick!
[several book shelves move around into a maze-like formation and separate the Ghostbusters from one another]
RAY: [over the walkie talkie] Okay, so much for stick together ... New plan is "fan out."
EGON: [over the walkie talkie] Flexible approach, Ray.
RAY: [over the walkie talkie] There are two hostile spirits roaming around in here.
EGON: [over the walkie talkie] Two that we know about.
[the Recruit makes his way around the room, when the Librarian suddenly appears through a wall and flies away]
LIBRARIAN: [loudly] Quiet!
RAY: [over the walkie talkie] Now I got ya ... What?! Oh no! Kid! Look out! It's coming your way!
[a ghost appears in front of the Recruit before disappearing again]
EGON: [over the walkie talkie] Temperature's dropping ... Event imminent! Brace yourselves!
[books begin flying off the shelves, as the Recruit continues to try and find his way out]
WINSTON: [over the walkie talkie] Guys, I'm in the periodicals archive looking at a stack of old newspaper clippings ... All about some nut named Edmund Hoover, AKA "The Collector."
EGON: [over the walkie talkie] Hmm, go on.
WINSTON: [over the walkie talkie] This dude has a history you should know about. He was a rare book collector who seduced Eleanor Twitty, the head librarian of this place.
RAY: [over the walkie talkie] The Gray Lady?
EGON: [over the walkie talkie] That would be my guess.
[the Recruit finds the exit, when several stacks of books suddenly appear behind him ... This is followed by the appearance of a Paper Construct ("Class VI Transformed Composite") which he quickly dispatches]
WINSTON: [over the walkie talkie] Okay guys, it's dead up here ... The good kind, I mean. You all cool?
EGON: [over the walkie talkie] We may need to get back to you on that.
[the Recruit makes his way down a number of hallways, before finding a large room filled with boxes and conveyor belts]
RAY: [over the walkie talkie] Hey, Kid. What's your 20? I'm in some kind of a dark tunnel, moving fast ... towards a bright light.
[Ray emerges from one of the conveyor belts at a high velocity of speed, followed by a swarm of Book Bats]
RAY: Oof! Class 1 Swarmers! Pesky but combustible!
[Ray and the Recruit defeat the Book Bats]
RAY: Now where's that Class 5 Animator? I tracked the slug here!
[the ghost appears]
RAY: There's the Big Fish! See what he did?! Give him a new home ... in our containment facility!
[the try to capture the ghost, when another one appears]
RAY: Look! Did you see that? More than I expected!
["Capture the Twin Ghosts" appears on screen, as Ray and the Recruit are able to capture the ghosts]
RAY: Phew, good work. That took some doin'.
EGON: [over the walkie talkie] Congratulations, Ray. Uh ... but I'm near Special Collections. Someone you've been wanting to meet again is here.
RAY: We're on our way!
["Rejoin Egon" appears on screen, as the exit the room and enter the hallway, where they find a room with a "Do Not Leave Bookcarts In Front of Door" sign next to it]
RAY: Keep an eye on the twitchy ones; they'll really crease ya if you aren't careful.
[they enter the room, as index cards fly out of the card catalog and books fall out of the nearby shelves]
RAY: You alright?
[Paper Constructs jump out of the stacks and attack them]
RAY: Mind the paper cuts!
[they defeat them, but another group soon appears]
RAY: Looks like the Gray Lady makes her own reinforcements. Keep your eyes open, team. She's upping the ante.
WINSTON: [over the walkie talkie] Thanks for the warning, Ray. But I have no idea of what you're talking about.
EGON: [over the walkie talkie] You may wanna just take our word for it.
[with the Paper Constructs defeated, the Recruit takes out his PKE Meter and finds the Librarian floating near one of the shelves]
RAY: [whispering] There she is ... Quiet now. Let's get a solid scan.
EGON: [loudly over the walkie talkie] I missed that, Ray! Please repeat!
LIBRARIAN: Shhh ...
[she flies away]
RAY: Enough with the shushing!
[a nearby table, that had been floating in midair, falls and splinters into several pieces]
RAY: Well, at least we're getting closer ...
EGON: [over the walkie talkie] Could not hear a word of that, Ray ... Ray?!
[they try to exit the room, but the Librarian locks the door from afar and sends a swarm of Book Bats out, which the Ghostbusters promptly destroy]
LIBRARIAN: [loudly] Noooo! Not my books!!
[she disappears]
RAY: Gives you the creeps, huh? Okay, good job. Come on, kid. We need to get out of here.
[cut to Winston inside the periodicals room, looking at a microfilm machine]
RAY: [over the walkie talkie] Ah Winston, where the heck are you?
WINSTON: In the periodicals section, checking the box score from the Knicks game last night. Why?
RAY: [over the walkie talkie] Tell us more about this "Collector," Winston.
[he uses the microfilm machine to look over a newspaper article with the headline "Ancient Persian Artifacts Come to New York Library"]
WINSTON: Says here that this Collector used the Gray Lady to get to the rare books in her care ... specifically a book called, get this, the Gozerian Codex.
RAY: [over the walkie talkie] Great!
WINSTON: Yeah. And when she found out what he was up to, she dumped him.
EGON: [over the walkie talkie] Smart lady.
[he flips over to another article with the headline "Librarian Whereabouts Still Unknown"]
WINSTON: Not really. Evidently, he murdered her for it.
RAY: [over the walkie talkie] Uh oh.
WINSTON: The Gray Lady was his first victim, but he killed a bunch more.
RAY: [over the walkie talkie] And let me guess ... He collected their bodies, just like he collected books?
WINSTON: Bingo. Ray, you get to buy me dinner ...
[he flips over to another article with the headline "Collector's Infamous Last Words"]
WINSTON: And here's the last on the Collector. Seconds before he was hanged, he said he would return as Azetlor, some sort of god, to keep watch over the library and every rare book in its collection.
RAY: [over the walkie talkie] Sounds like quite the bookworm.
WINSTON: Sounds like the kind we run into all the time.
[cut back to Ray and the Recruit, as "Follow the Librarian Ghost" appears on screen]
RAY: Take a scan, wouldja?
[the Recruit takes out his PKE Meter, when a ghost baby crawls into the "Juvenile Curriculum" room at the end of the hallway]
RAY: Okay, I'm not saying that's a bad sign ... but it sure isn't a good one.
[as Ray is talking, the door behind him swings open and a group of Paper Constructs appear]
RAY: Jeez!
[the Recruit defeats the Paper Constructs]
RAY: That'll only hurt for a minute ...
[they enter the room, where the sounds of children talking can be heard]
RAY: You hear that? It's around here someplace.
[the Recruit takes out his PKE Meter]
RAY: Uh huh, somebody's in here.
[it soon becomes apparent that this is the old childrens' reading room, as there is a big "Reading is Fun!" mural on the wall and a display entitled "Austin Cline's Puppet Theatre"]
RAY: It's ... children!
[the sounds of children become louder]
RAY: What're they saying?
[the Recruit takes PKE readings of the puppet theatre, as a stuffed panda begins floating around by itself ... then the walls begin oozing black slime]
RAY: I think they're trying to tell us something.
[the sounds of children crying can now be heard, as the Recruit opens another door and enters the room]
RAY: Come out, come out, wherever you are.
[another stuffed panda falls off a nearby chair by itself]
RAY: Oh boy, we're not alone.
[the door slams shut in Ray's face, locking him out of the room]
RAY: Oof! Ugh, I gotta be more careful!
[Ray looks at the Recruit through the window]
RAY: You alright?
[the Recruit kicks the door open and rejoins Ray]
RAY: What else did Hoover collect?
[they exit the room, as one of the ghost children can be heard saying "Bye"]
RAY: You got that right, Scooter!
[they run down the stairs and find the Special Collections room]
RAY: Here's the place, Special Collections. These rooms are packed with rare and valuable volumes!
[Ray runs in ahead of the Recruit]
RAY: [whispering] Okay, she's in here with Egon. No noise!
[they see Egon slowly walking towards the Librarian]
RAY: Shh ... Almost ...
[the Librarian turns around and looks at Egon]
LIBRARIAN: Shhh ...
RAY: Oh boy.
[the Librarian floats away, so the Ghostbusters try to pursue her ... and run right into a group of Book Centurions ("Class VI Armored Composites")]
EGON: Looks like they're throwing the whole science fiction section at us.
RAY: Can't blast through the shields!
EGON: Their shields! Use the Capture Stream on their shields!
[they use this strategy to defeat the Book Centurions]
RAY: Remember how you were saying print was dead?
EGON: I wish.
RAY: Now where'd she go?
EGON: Valences up. She definitely left a trace somewhere ...
[Egon takes out his PKE Meter]
EGON: Big spike! Riiiiiiight ... here!
[they stop in front of one of the bookshelves]
RAY: Yeah, check this out! I feel a breeze ... Oh, cool! Secret passages! These are great!
[the Recruit pulls down one of the books, revealing a secret passage as "Explore the Library's Sub-Levels" appears on screen]
RAY: I didn't even know this area existed.
[they head down the stairway]
EGON: Looks like the janitors didn't, either. For the last eighty years, anyway.
[more Paper Constructs appear]
EGON: What are those? I don't recognize them from Tobin's.
RAY: No, they're in the Revised Etheary Catalog. I think the Gray Lady is constructing them from the books and minor spirits here. She may be more powerful than we thought.
[they enter a large underground room filled with boxes of old books]
RAY: Take a look at this place! I could spend a month taking inventory of these books!
EGON: Let's be very careful what we wish for down here, Ray.
RAY: We should tell Winston to get down here. We could probably use his help.
EGON: I've been trying to raise him. There's too much interference.
[the Recruit uses his PKE Meter to scan one of the books, which reads "A curious ancient text. Caution! Tomes like these are often used as traps"]
RAY: Wow, dig that!
EGON: Ray, I'm not entirely convinced this is the best course of action.
[the book suddenly floats into the air]
RAY: Hey, I'll bet this is a trap!
EGON: Welcome back, Ray.
[Book Bats fly out of a nearby shelf]
RAY: Uh oh! They've got friends!
[they defeat the Book Bats and Paper Constructs which appear]
EGON: I'm having serious doubts about the structural integrity of this sub-basement.
[they notice that the "curious ancient text" is still floating around]
EGON: It's moving again!
RAY: Over to the left!
[more Book Bats appear]
RAY: Pulled the same trick twice!
[they defeat the enemies, then the ancient text stops in the middle of the room and begins spinning around]
RAY: Moving!
EGON: I'm telling you, this sub-structure is unstable! The ceiling could come down on top of us!
[the book suddenly explodes, and another ghost appears out of the ceiling above it]
RAY: Our lobe-probe experiment is working! You're clairvoyant!
EGON: No, I saw the support columns buckle.
[they capture the ghost, then see the Librarian floating near one of the walls]
RAY: Over there! Oh boy ...
LIBRARIAN: Shh ...
[she disappears through the wall, which crumbles behind her]
RAY: Creepy ...
[they attempt to make their way deeper into the library sub-levels, but beams are blocking the entranceway]
EGON: Those beams are wedged solid.
RAY: Good place for the capture stream.
["Wrangle the Beams With Your Capture Steam" appears on screen, as the Recruit uses his proton pack to rip the beams away from the wall]
RAY: Wonder what's down there?
EGON: Something big. And, more than likely, terrifying.
[they head down the stairway]
RAY: It's really dark down there!
[they reach the end of the stairway, as the room is partially flooded]
RAY: Damp, too.
EGON: Wonderful. Hope you don't have any open cuts. I'm thinking flesh-eating bacteria.
[Ray finds a locked door at the other end of the room]
RAY: That's an electric lock on the door.
EGON: See if you can find the power.
[the Recruit finds the power switch and flips it on]
RAY: Great! The recruit found it! Uh, I wonder if it's a good idea to be standing in a foot and a half of water ...
[the lights go on and off]
EGON: That didn't last long.
[a Book Golem suddenly appears, as the Ghostbusters are able to defeat it]
EGON: I can't say I'm a big fan of the Level 6 Bi-Dimensional Attractor.
RAY: I'm with you on that. We're lucky there were only some old books for it to manifest with.
EGON: Recruit, you okay? Let's keep moving.
[they go through the door and enter some type of furnace room]
RAY: Um ...
EGON: This is cheery. Nice place. Nothing bad could ever happen in here.
[the Librarian appears in the middle of the room]
RAY: There she is! Flank her! She's got nowhere to run!
[she disappears through a grate in the floor]
RAY: Except through the grate.
EGON: I'm not clear on how the flanking was supposed to work.
[Coal Golems appear]
RAY: Oh boy. Burning coal. Two of them this time!
EGON: Yeah, nice Ray! Tell us again how lucky we are!
[the Coal Golems are defeated]
RAY: Phew! We've gotta bag the Gray Lady before this gets really dangerous.
EGON: We may have missed that window, Ray.
RAY: Well, we can't follow her through that grate. Is there another way?
[the Recruit uses his PKE Meter to find a weak spot in the wall ("The wall appears weakened by the black slime") and blasts it with his proton pack]
RAY: Whatcha find there, youngblood?
[Ray comes over and inspects the newly-created hole]
RAY: Good work! Spengler, the kid found the exit.
[black slime oozes out of the hole]
EGON: I added something new to the pack.
[he shows them his proton pack]
EGON: This is the PDS, "Plasm Distribution System." Basically, it's slime blower, Mark II, heavily modified from the earlier version. Your plasm banks are now integrated into the proton pack. It uses a base culture of ectoplasm that can impair entities, cause caustic black slime to go inert, and reveal otherwise invisible ethereal structures that reside on this plane.
RAY: To use the Slime Blower, just point and squirt. It'll help neutralize any active patches of black slime. It'll close any portals they're opening, too.
[the Recruit uses his Slime Blower to evaporate the black slime]
RAY: See! Neutronized Slime.
[they enter the hole in the wall, which slowly descends further down into the earth]
EGON: Our own private shortcut to hell. That's convenient.
[they reach the bottom, which leads to a large cavern filled with piles of books, and the Librarian "sitting" at a table with the Gozerian Codex]
LIBRARIAN: Aahh!
[she tries to open the book, but a ghostly hand reaches out and flings her around the room, before dropping her back at the table where she "rewinds" to a point as if nothing had happened]
RAY: Eerie place. I wonder if this is where the Collector killed the Librarian?
EGON: I think that would be a safe assumption. That book she's reading is emitting massive energy.
[Ray smirks and turns to the Recruit]
RAY: That's your cue, Killer. Go get 'em.
["Get the Gozerian Codex From the Librarian's Desk" appears on screen, as the Recruit takes the book out of the Librarian's hand, who briefly bows her head before simply fading away]
EGON: She took that pretty well; better than I expected.
RAY: It makes perfect sense if her residual spirit energy is tied to the book. The Gozerian Codex, right? Now that we have it, her echo must have been released. She's gone. I think we helped her cross over.
[the Librarian reappears]
EGON: And she just crossed right back ...
RAY: Oh, no.
[she morphs into her "scary" mode and begins attacking, as "Defeat the Librarian" appears on screen]
EGON: The book stands are generating her shield!
RAY: Buddy, the podiums! Soak 'em, Soak 'em!
["Destroy the Floating Book Stands" appears on screen, as hitting the book stands causes the Librarian's "book shield" to slowly dissipate]
EGON: That's it! She can't regenerate the cage! Keep hitting the book stands!
RAY: She is shielding herself with the Codices, go after those first!
EGON: Aim high!
[the books surrounding the Librarian are completely gone, leaving her vulnerable to a full-on attack]
RAY: That does it! Now let's attack the Librarian straight on!
[the Librarian tries to outmaneuver their attacks, but is eventually beaten down]
RAY: Throw a capture stream on her!
EGON: That's good! Throw out the trap!
[the Librarian is captured]
RAY: Weird. That wasn't as tough as it should have been.
EGON: I was just thinking of the same thing.
RAY: It was almost too easy ... like she wants us to have the Codex.
EGON: Yes, like she wanted us to blast this room apart.
RAY: But why?
[a portal suddenly appears in the middle of the room]
RAY: Cross-dimensional portal. From the fifth to the fourth. A whole world of ghosts. Something I've dreamt about since college. It's all in the Monarchia Daemonum. Fantastic! Ghostworld.
EGON: I wouldn't get too excited, Ray. I have a feeling she did it so we could meet an old friend of hers.
RAY: Well, if we're going ...
EGON: Not much choice, is there? It's the only way out.
[he addresses the Recruit]
EGON: You. Take the lead. Don't worry, we do this all the time.
[he heads for the portal, which suddenly levitates as the room begins to shake]
RAY: Oh no, look out!
[the portal "explodes" as if rending the fabric of time and space itself, causing the ceiling to break apart and reveal an "alternate reality" version of the library]
EGON: Hmm, so this is what the Public Library looks like on the far side of a cross-dimensional portal.
RAY: It's one of infinite potential configurations. You know ... theoretically.
EGON: Yes, well ... this looks like the Gozerian configuration.
[they head for the doorway, which now leads up a staircase covered in black slime]
RAY: Watch out, black slime ...
[they reach another doorway covered in black slime, blasting it to reveal another portal]
RAY: Come on, let's go!
[they jump through, leading to a strange room filled with other portals]
RAY: Alright, keep your head down and keep hitting these portals! One of them has gotta lead out!
["Escape the Ghost World" appears on screen]
EGON: Uh, the scientific method, Ray?
[Ray and Egon enter one of the portals, which immediately closes while the Recruit is left to deal with another Book Golem]
RAY: [over the walkie talkie] The natives are restless ...
EGON: [over the walkie talkie] Well, they're certainly aware of our presence.
[the Recruit defeats the Book Golem and then begins passing through the various portals, which lead him to different parts of the Ghost World]
RAY: [falling out of a portal in front of the Recruit] Aaaaah!
[he gets up gingerly]
RAY: Well, that was embarrassing ...
[they both walk over to a raised bridge between platforms]
RAY: Looks like a good place for Slime Tether. To stretch a Slime Tether, point and launch the first anchor, then point and shoot the second. The launched Slime Tether will then contract.
["Use the Slime Tether to Pull Down the Bridge" appears on screen]
RAY: The more tethers you attach to a point, the stronger the resulting reaction.
[the Recruit uses a Slime Tether to force the first part of the bridge down]
RAY: Since their ectoplasmic charge has a short half-life, tethers will grow brittle over time and then break. You can blast an existing tether with any other equipment type to destroy it.
[the Recruit uses more Slime Tethers to force the second part down and complete the bridge]
RAY: [running across the bridge] Like a pro!
[they enter a room with rotating walls]
RAY: Huh! Wouldya look at that?
["Use the Slime Tether to Rotate the Wall" appears on screen]
RAY: Heck, we should be able to put that back into place.
[the Recruit uses the Slime Tether to force the wall to rotate]
RAY: Ghostworld or no, the principle of leverage should still work the same anywhere!
[they enter a long hallway]
EGON: [over the walkie talkie] Ray, it occurs to me that these events are interrelated.
RAY: The Gozerian exhibit, the huge energy pulse, the Sedgewick Hotel, the return of Stay Puft ... Yeah.
EGON: [over the walkie talkie] Yes, even this. All pointing back to a single point of origin.
RAY: Ilyssa?
EGON: [over the walkie talkie] Ilyssa.
[Ray enters the next portal, but it closes before the Recruit can enter, and he turns to see that the hallway has suddenly become filled with mirrors]
RAY: [over the walkie talkie] Rookie? You still there? Watch out! The mirrors aren't what they seem ...
[a "Class III Elevated Remnant" pops out of one of the mirrors, and the Recruit has to defeat it ... This leads to another portal opening up, which leads to a "room" filled with floating bookshelves and Book Bats]
RAY: [over the walkie talkie] Okay, I've tried this one twice already, so it's gotta be another one.
[the Recruit runs into another room]
RAY: [over the walkie talkie] Nope ... nope ... not that one. I got a better idea. This one!
EGON: [over the walkie talkie] This dimension is extremely volatile. It seems to be tearing itself apart.
RAY: [over the walkie talkie] We need to get out of here.
EGON: [over the walkie talkie] Oh no.
RAY: [over the walkie talkie] Did you see something scary, Egon?
EGON: [over the walkie talkie] Stairs. Lots of stairs.
[the Recruit continues forward, defeating several Paper Constructs]
EGON: [over the walkie talkie] The pattern is starting to make sense. I think I'm close to finding the exit.
RAY: [over the walkie talkie] Uh oh ... I've got bogeys. Heads up boys, wherever you are.
[the Recruit enters another portal, with more Paper Constructs]
RAY: [over the walkie talkie] Huh, totally inverted.
EGON: [over the walkie talkie] Okay, I'm through!
RAY: [over the walkie talkie] Send a signal we can track you with.
EGON: [over the walkie talkie] I'll try but it might not work! The last portal I entered was at the top of a long flight of steps.
[the Recruit uses Slime Tethers to "capture" floating pieces of the floor in order to create a "staircase" up towards the last portal]
RAY: [over the walkie talkie] Made it out too! Hey champ, we won't leave until you find us.
EGON: [over the walkie talkie] Look for the long staircase. The exit portal is at the very top.
RAY: [over the walkie talkie] Keep movin', sport. We sure don't wanna be trapped in here.
[the Recruit finds another floating staircase and makes his way upwards]
EGON: [over the walkie talkie] Recruit, I had some trouble getting to the portal. Use the Slime Tether to bring the portal to you.
[the Recruit uses his Slime Tether to go further up towards the portal]
AZETLOR: [from off camera] Nowumba Azetlor machachan!
EGON: [over the walkie talkie] Did you hear that?
RAY: [over the walkie talkie] Wonder if that's the Collector we're looking for?
EGON: [over the walkie talkie] I think he goes by Azetlor now.
RAY: [over the walkie talkie] Hey, cadet! Are you okay? Sounds like it's getting closer!
EGON: [over the walkie talkie] Can you get to that portal at the top of the stairs?
[the Recruit enters the portal, as all three Ghostbusters are together again in an alternate version of the library's main reading room]
RAY: I do like what they've done with the place here, but I hoped that portal would have taken us back to the library.
EGON: Actually, we are back in the Public Library. The dimensional membrane must be extremely thin here.
RAY: Someone's holding us here ... The Collector.
EGON: Yes, Azetlor wants to add to his collection. And he's probably not too happy about us taking the Gozerian Codex with us.
RAY: Oh yeah? What can a twisted little bookworm do to scare us?
EGON: He murdered Eleanor Twitty for it when he was alive. And a dozen others just to cover it up.
[a strange glowing orb suddenly appears behind them]
RAY: [unaware] Hey, Collector! We're taking your book! Whaddaya think about that?!
[the orb settles on the floor, and a giant figure rises out of it]
RAY: [pause] Uh, he's right behind me, isn't he?
EGON: Yes, I think you got his attention, Ray.
RAY: Ho boy ...
["Defeat Azeltlor" appears on screen]
RAY: He's resisting my proton stream!
EGON: Look! His face is protected by black slime!
RAY: That must be the key! Hey Junior, switch out your nozzle and hose him down!
[the Recruit takes out his Slime Blower and begins shooting Azeltlor's mask]
EGON: Neutronize the black slime on his mask!
RAY: We need to clear the black slime off his mask! Use the Slime Blower, kid!
EGON: His shield is too strong! Go for the mask! Clear the slime off his mask!
[the mask begins glowing, so the Recruit switches to his proton pack]
EGON: Rip his mask off, it looks vulnerable!
RAY: Egon, help me hold it open!
[Azeltlor's mask is ripped off]
RAY: Yeah, that did it!
EGON: Oh no, I think we just exposed his angry side.
RAY: Bring him down all the way ... Concentrate on the eye if you can. He's got nothing that can resist the proton stream!
EGON: Hit him in the eye, we've almost got him!
[they begin focusing on his exposed eye]
RAY: He's out of control! Blast him in the eye! Rook, I think it's working!
EGON: Don't question it, Rook! Just blast the glowy part!
RAY: Collect some of this, jerk!
EGON: Hit the eye with everything you've got! Now!
[Azetlor is defeated, exploding into a shower of books]
RAY: There it goes! Bye, Azetlor!
EGON: We've got to get out of here!
RAY: There's a new portal back here! C'mon Rook, that's gotta be the way out!
WINSTON: [over the walkie talkie] Guys! Where are you guys?
[the Ghostbusters enter the portal and return to the real Public Library]
WINSTON: Where the hell were you guys? I've been running all over this library, calling you, looking for you ... nothing!
EGON: We passed through a cross-dimensional portal into an alternate version of the New York Public Library, and fought a forty-foot monster made out of priceless antiques to steal an ancient magical book.
WINSTON: Oh ... Well, that would explain it then. Next time leave a note.
[Egon turns and notices a number of symbols burned into the wall above the exit]
EGON: Ray, does this mean anything to you?
RAY: Nope, it wasn't here the first time we came through.
WINSTON: What is it?
EGON: Not entirely sure. But whatever it is, I think we just turned it off.
RAY: You thinking what I'm thinking?
WINSTON: Thin crust New York Style, with no visible anchovies?
RAY: Maybe later. Right now, I need to go back to the lab and take a look at this Codex.
EGON: And analyze the data we've collected. It could help us when we go to the museum.
WINSTON: Slice to go on the way? Rookie's treat?
RAY: [looking at the symbols] And we need to know what this is.
WINSTON: I'll call for a delivery. Again.

---

From gametrailers.com:

"Checking Out the Library Level" is the third level in Ghostbusters: The Video Game (XBOX 360).

*The Man from P.C.O.C.

After defeating Stay Puft and watching another cutscene you'll find yourself back at the firehouse. Feel free to wander around a bit. Notice that the Cursed Artifacts you have scanned in the previous levels can be found littered throughout the fire station. When you are ready, walk up to Egon who's running tests on the young doctor you saved. After this scene get into the Ecto-1 to proceed to the Public Library.

*One of Our Lions is Missing

Outside the library, examine the lion statue on the right with Egon. Once it explodes, follow the other Ghostbusters into the library's lobby.

*Cruster & Crusto

Follow everyone up stairs where you'll be able to turn on your Proton Packs. Egon will upgrade your pack with the Dark Matter Generator. This gives you two new steams. The Shock Blast acts like a shotgun with a wide shot diameter but little distance. It's best used in close quarters. Secondly the Dark Matter Generator has a Statis Stream which can slow ghost's movement. Give them both a shot real fast.

Head back downstairs of the lobby and use your PKE Meter to find one of the ghost in the display by the stairs. Once you've scared it out of the display follow down the corridor under the stairs and balcony to the left. Follow the corridor into the giant open room.

*Dangerous Books

The other Ghostbusters will be on the balcony of this large room to the right. Proceed into the middle of the room with your PKE Meter out. After some chaos in front of you. A Book Golem will form. Scan the Book Golem quickly then go to work on it. Close range Shock Blasts work well but the creature can really do a number on you there. It's best to keep your distance and hit it with Boson Darts. Once you've drained all its health down, use the Capture Stream to grab its head and yank it off with a Slam move. Once the head has been removed the creature will fall apart.

*There She Is!

Once the Book Golem has been destroyed, head to the opposite end of the room to see the Grey Lady that Ray and Egon have be ranting about. Proceed to the door on the far back left of this room. Kick it open and scan the Portrait of Eleanor Twitty. Now step back out and go through the door along the right side of this back wall.

*Ssshhed Again

Proceed down the narrow corridor to meet up with Ray and Egon. After the Grey Lady disappears again, follow Egon and Ray down the spiral staircase. You'll enter a room at the bottom where everything will levitate. Watch where Egon is scanning. Use the PKE Meter to scan the bookshelf he's staring at and watch as the Grey Lady appears. This is a great time to scan her if you haven't already. Follow them into the next room and then the one after that. Head down the small set of stairs to find yourself in a basement room lined with bookshelves.

*Scary Stories

The bookshelves in this basement area will begin to move and close you in. They will separate you from the other busters. After a few moments of being completely trapped, the shelves will move again to reveal a path. Follow path around the aisles and Winston will radio you as your continue on your way. The shelves will eventually lead you into a small archives room. Turn to the left and scan the Reluctant Reading Lamp on the desk.

Turn around and head down the middle aisle through the stacks of books. Have your PKE Meter out and reading. Scan the Paper Construct that pops out at you then shot it with a Shock Blast. Proceed out into the lit corridor and follow it around to the left.

*Sorted Out

You'll eventually enter a receiving area where Ray will slide into followed by Book Bats. Scan a Book Bat then go about destroying them with the Shock Blast. Once they have been destroyed you'll be attacked by the pair of ghosts you've been chasing this is the best and easiest time to scan Cruster and Crusto. Keep moving around as you blast them as they will throw furniture at you. Blast and capture two of them. Note that it is best to focus on getting rid of one and then the other. Once the twin brothers have been dealt with, follow Ray through the door.

*Hey! Look Behind You!

Keep moving through the various room with Ray, Shock Blasting the Paper Constructs that obscure your path. You'll soon find a dead end among some more bookshelves. The Grey Lady will appear again then fly back into the previous room. Follow her and she'll spawn a bunch of Book Bats. Blast them then follow Ray through the door he opens.

*Story Hour

After a scene with Winston you'll want to proceed down the hallway. Head towards the open door at the end only to have it shut on your face. Now spin around and deal with the Paper Constructs that appear. Head through the door they came through then open the door to the right. Use your PKE Meter in here. Scan the hand prints along the left wall to upload the Ectoplasmic Residue into your spirit guide. Head through the door at the other end of the room.

*Special Collections

Follow Ray down into the Special Collections area. When you reach the small all wood room, blast the chair blocking the door and go into the small closet to scan the Pin-up Calendar of DOOM! Now follow Ray into next room where you'll meet up with Egon and the Grey Lady. When she flees she'll leave you with a pair of Book Centurions. Scan a Book Centurion then use the Capture stream to grab its shield and yank it from its hands. Once the shield has been removed, use the Shock Blast to destroy the creatures.

*Old Secret Places

Now use your PKE Meter to search for where the Grey Lady went. Look for the spike and follow it to a bookshelf against the back wall. Interact with the bookcase to reveal a secret passage.

*Dark & Damp

Proceed into the sub-levels of the library. Once in the larger room, scan the book on the pedestal in the back. This book will now fly around spawning Book Bats and Book Centurion to fight you. Keep your wits about you and take them out. The library will appear once again in here. When she leaves, go through the corridor behind her last position. Follow it around until you come out in another room. You'll find a passage in the middle of this room blocked by three steel beams. You'll need to use your capture stream on them to remove. Before leaving this area however, search the back left to scan the Seat of Vapors Foul. Now proceed through the passage you removed the steel beams from.

You'll soon find yourself in a room with ankle high water. Go up the stairs on the opposite side and activate the generator. Once this doesn't work a Book Golem will appear. Destroy it by removing its head once it has been weakened. The power will now turn on and the exit will open. Follow this passageway down into the furnace area.

*The Trouble with Golems

The Grey Lady will appear in the middle of the furnace room but disappear as you approach. At this moment two Coal Golems will appear. Destroy them like the others. Now approach the back left corner of this room and blast the cracked walled to reveal a hidden passage. Egon will now give you the Slime Blower. Use it on the Black Slime which will make it disappear. Proceed down the long tunnel to trigger a short scene at the bottom.

*The Gozerian Codex

Scan the Librarian Ghost if you haven't already. Approach the Grey Lady behind the desk and interact with her. She'll finally reveal her scary form to you. The librarian will hover in the middle of the room where she'll form a protective barrier of books. Use your Shock Black and shoot the podiums that float around her. Once all the floating podiums have been destroyed she'll be revealed. Use your Proton Packs on her to weaken her then trap her.

*Eleanor's Plan

After defeating the Grey Lady a bit of dialogue will ensue. Touch the floating glowing orb when Egon and Ray tell you to and you'll be transported into another world's version of the Public Library. When the gate opens, head up the stairs and spray the Black Slime covered door with your own Green Slime to open a portal. Step through it.

*The Other Side

You'll now find yourself in a room littered with portals. Ray and Egon will enter the middle on but it will disappear before you can and form a Book Golem. Hit it with Boson Darts then rip its head off with the Capture Stream. Once the creature has been killed, head up the stairs to the back and into the portal on the left. Here you'll find Ali El Baluu's Irksome Rug on the floor of the balcony you warp to. Scan it then head back down to via the portal you just used. Now head through the portal up the right set of stairs and begin shooting Boson Darts at the Book Golem charging at you. Rip its head off then proceed up the stairs here to meet up with Ray once again.

*Across the Bridge

Look up at the drawn bridge in front of where Ray popped out of. Use your Slime Tether to tear down the bridge. Simply shoot one end to the bridge and the other to a solid surface. The Slime will contract and pull the bridge down. Cross the bridge and enter the room with the rotating wall. Slime Tether one end of the wall to the opposite side of the room to swing the wall around. Run around with it until you reach the portal to hop through.

*Hall of Mirrors

Follow Ray through the curving hallway and around a sharp corner. He'll enter a portal but it'll disappear before you can. When you exit this alcove you should notice that the hallway is now lined with mirrors. Use your PKE Meter to look for and scan the Cultist here. After you've scanned him, it's time to take him out. Use your Boson Dart to inflict damage on him and then capture him with a trap when weakened. He's a bit of a pain as he like to disappear and reappear. Just hang out in one portion of the hallway and wait for him. Running back and forth takes to long and you're more likely to miss him. Once he's been captured, the portal at the far end of the hallway will open for you to pass through.

*Curioser & Curioser

Run across the narrow platform you find after the hall of mirrors. As you approach the portal directly opposite of you. Blast it with your Blast Stream to take out the Book Bats that will fly out at you. Proceed up the ramp to the right and simply keep following the path. Blast the Paper Constructs that appear with the Shock Blast and keep moving up the ramps to the portal at the top. Head straight across another narrow platform and into the portal opposite of you.

*Ghostworld Library

As you make your way along the balcony here to the right, more Paper Constructs appear on some small platforms. Simply shoot the platforms to make them fall. Take a left and the end of the balcony and follow this corridor around into the next area.

*Topsy Turvy

You'll now find yourself in an upside down room (everything is on the ceiling). Use your PKE Meter here to find Featherwell's Stalking Chair. Proceed to the opposite end of this room and you'll find an exit that leads out to another open area.

*The Long Staircase

On this balcony you find yourself on you will see the long set of stairs Egon and Ray have been talking about. It's your turn to ascend them. The stairs will be swarmed by Book Bats. You'll need to watch as they swarm together and make a pass at the stairs. You need to time your sprinting in between the gaps between swarms. Keep moving upwards until the stairs start to fall apart. Quickly use the Slime Tether to string the broken pieces back together for you. Keep pulling the drifting pieces of the staircase together to progress to the top and into the portal there.

*Wrath of the Collector

You'll rejoin Ray and Egon here and now need to battle the Collector. Scan Azetlor the Destroyer when he first appears. Now use your Slime Thrower and spray his shoulders which are covered in Black Slime. Ray will let you know when the slime has been remove. When it has been, quickly switch to the Capture Stream and rip the Collector's mask off. Once the mask has been removed, you'll be free to blast the crap out of Azetlor. Keep your distance from him and keep strafing around him to avoid his ground pound attack. Hit him with Boson Darts until you've defeated him and cleared the level.

---

From wikia.com:

In life Azetor, Keeper of Knowledge, was once a powerful leader in Ivo Shandor's Cult of Gozer by the name of Edmund Hoover, a philologist and serial killer known as 'The Collector'. Around 1923, Hoover seduced Eleanor Twitty, head librarian and curator of the New York Public Library's Special Collections in an effort to gain access to the Gozerian Codex. In March 1924, Twitty had discovered Hoover's true motivations and refuse to allow him further access to the Special Collections. Hoover then murdered Twitty and hid her body in the secret chambers built by Shandor beneath the Library's basement. The New York Police Department were unable to find the body despite a number of room-to-room searches of the book stacks, though they were able to charge Hoover with a number of other murders. He was convicted for his crimes and sentenced to death by hanging.

Given the context clues within the game it can be assumed that the other murders were that of children whose bodies he also collected, a few of which might have been murdered in the same room as the one Eleanor Twitty was murdered in, who then became trapped in the library as ghosts.

As a reward for a lifetime of service to Gozer, Hoover was given eternal life as the transformed demi-god in the twisted ghostworld plane. Manifesting as a Golem-like entity, he clothes himself in a dense 'skin' of environment debris, that, with the addition of his massive reserves of PK energy, makes Azetlor the Collector a devastating and dangerous opponent.

Case Study No. 0032: Unnamed Female Librarian (The Real Ghostbusters)

RGB - Got chickens?
0:16
It seems like the librarian is implying something...or maybe she just wants to cook dinner for Egon. We may never know.
Tags: chickens RGB ghostbusters funny real egon clip
Added: 4 years ago
From: 4PV
Views: 636

[scene opens in the New York Public Library, as the Ghostbusters are at the front desk checking out books with the young female librarian]
LIBRARIAN: [handing Ray back his books] Next.
PETER: [confidently handing her a book, in an attempt to impress her]
LIBRAIAN: [stamps the book]
PETER: [before she can hand the book back] Betcha don't get many celebrities here. Well, maybe some actors, but I mean people who can read. As Ghostbusters, we have a scientific responsibility to--
LIBRARIAN: [slides the book back to him with a condescending look] Will that be all?
PETER: All? Are you kidding? You know how many words are in these things? Why, I'll bet I read more than anyone else in this room!
[Egon enters the scene, spilling a large stack of books onto the table]
EGON: Whoops!
PETER: [thinking quickly] Ah, the rest of my books! He'll check these out for me, I'll be in the car ... [to the other Ghostbusters] Come on, guys!
[the other two follow Peter out the door, passing a creepy looking man with his nose buried in a book]
LIBRARIAN: [dreamily looking into Egon's eyes] Anything else, Doctor Spengler?
EGON: Yes, I couldn't find ... [looking at his list] "Spirit Summonings and Conjurations," "Lochmoor's Guide to the Lower Regions," and the latest volume of "Who's Who and What's That."
LIBRARIAN: Oh, but those volumes have already been checked out ... [she points to the creepy man] By him.
CUBBY: [muttering to himself] Chickens ... Chickens ... Just wait!
EGON: [takes out his PKE Meter and checks Cubby for signs of spectral activity]
LIBRARIAN: [whispering] Is he human?
EGON: Unfortunately, yes. Well, maybe next time ... [he takes his books and leaves]
LIBRARIAN: [yelling after him] See ya next week ... [to the female patron next in line] Oh, he is so cute!
[Egon stops in front of Cubby, who is giggling to himself while reading]
EGON: A word of caution, from one expert in the paranormal to a ... well, whatever. Be careful with those books. In the wrong hands, they could be dangerous.
CUBBY: Not dangerous to me ... but chickens? [laughs] Anything with feathers, look out!
[he runs off]
EGON: [to himself] Definitely evolved from the shallow end of the gene pool.

[...]

[the Ghostbusters are driving through the city]
EGON: All the chickens in the world have vanished.
PETER: You've been up all night doing equations again, haven't you? You know how that effects you ...
RAY: But if you're right, Egon, why are we heading into town instead of the country?
EGON: Just playing a hunch ...
[cut to Egon speaking with the librarian at the library]
EGON: When he took the books on spirits and summonings, he mentioned chickens. If you could possibly tell me where he lives ...
LIBRARIAN: Well, since it's you ... [starts typing on her computer]
EGON: [moves in closer] I beg you pardon, but what is that perfume you're wearing?
L: "Essence of Fungus," you like it?
EGON: Actually, it's very ... uh, never mind.
LIBRARIAN: [hands him a piece of paper] I hope this address helps.
EGON: I'm sure it will. Thank you.
LIBRARIAN: [hands him another piece of paper] Uh, this is my address ... just in case.
EGON: Do you have chickens?
LIBRARIAN: I could get some ... [winks]
[the Ghostbusters walk towards the exit]
PETER: [to Egon] That's disgusting.

---

From gbfans.com:

"The Real Ghostbusters"
Season 2, Episode 26 ("Chicken, He Clucked")
19 October 1987
Written By: J. Michael Straczynski
Production Code:76019

A man driven to insanity by the smell of chickens from a nearby restaurant named Cubby is bent on getting rid of all the chickens in the world, so he takes out some spell books from the library and summons a demon by the name of Morganan to help accomplish his goal. The demon then begins to get ridiculed by his fellow demons. The demon then asks the Ghostbusters for their help in reversing the spell.

Case Study No. 0031: Alice, Roger Delicore, and Eleanor Twitty

"Ghostbusters" (1984) - Special effects: Library Ghost
0:22
From the original Criterion laserdisc.

"In shooting films with special effects the live action sequences are filmed first, then the effects are inserted.
Following is a "split-screen" demonstration of the film before and after the effects are added. The image on top shows the film without special effects, the image on bottom includes the effects as seen in the finished film."
Tags: Ghostbusters 1984 Ivan Reitman Harold Ramis Dan Aykroyd Bill Murray Ruth Oliver Special Effects Library Ghost Criterion Collection Laserdisc 1989 Los cazafantasmas Os Caca-Fantasmas S.O.S. fantomes Els cacafantasmes Acchiappafantasmi Die Geisterjager Haamujengi Spokligan Hayalet avcilari Het bovennatuurlijke superspektakel Isterivaci duhova Krotitele duchu Pogromcy duchow Szellemirtok
Added: 3 years ago
From: ilKoreano
Views: 30,657

From wikia.com:

The Library Ghost (Later in Ghostbusters: The Video Game known as Eleanor Twitty) was the very first ghost that the Ghostbusters encountered. She appears to be a very odd reader as she likes to stack books up in the air. When the proto-Ghostbusters were about to act out Ray's plan to "get her," she changed into a terrifying form and scared them away. It's never revealed whether she was captured later or not.

---

From angelfire.com:

(New York Public Library)
(Alice, the Librarian pushes a cart of books down the hall towards the basement.)

(NYPL - Basement)
(Alice walks along carrying some books. As she walks past some shelves the books float around to other shelves. She turns around, but everything has stopped. She walks along some more. As she passes the card catalog the drawers open up and the cards jump out and start going all over the place. Alice turns and sees what's happening, she screams and runs. She keeps running through the stacks. She stumbles onto something, though we can't see it, and she screams at the tope of her lungs.)

[...]

(Columbia University)
(Paranormal Studies Laboratory)
(Ray enters the room all in a tizzy about something.)
Ray: (grabbing stuff off shelves) This is it! This is definitely it! Did those UV lenses come in for the video camera? And that blank tape? I need it. The one you erased yesterday.
Peter: (to Jennifer) Can you excuse me for a second?
Jennifer: Sure.
(Peter gets up and walks over to where Ray is. He smacks Ray on the head.)
Peter: I'm right in the middle of something, Ray! Ah, I need a little more time with this subject. Could you come back in an hour, hour and a half?
Ray: Peter, at 1:40 PM at the main branch of the New York Public Library on Fifth Avenue, ten people witnessed a free floating, full torso, vaporous apparition. It blew books off shelves from twenty feet away and scared the socks off some poor librarian!
Peter: I'm very excited. I'm very pleased. I want you to get right down there, check it out and get back to me.
Ray: No, no.
Peter: Get right back to me...
Ray: You're coming with us on this one! Spengler went down there and took PKE valances. Went right off the top of the scale. Buried the needle! We're close on this one. I can feel it!

[...]

(New York Public Library)
Peter: As a friend I have to tell you: you've finally gone round the bend on this ghost business. You guys have been running your ass off meeting and greeting every schizo in the five boroughs who says he has a paranormal experience. What have you seen?
(They enter the Main Reading Room)
Ray: Of course you forget, Peter, I was present at an undersea, unexplained, mass sponge migration.
Peter: Ooh, Ray, those sponges migrated about a foot and a half.
(Egon is sitting underneath a table listening to it with a stethoscope. Peter runs over quietly and raps on the table with his knuckles. Egon has a very puzzled look on his face. Suddenly Peter picks up a book and slams it down on the table. Egon jumps up, startled.)
Egon: Oh, you're here.
Peter: Yeah, what have you got?
Egon: This is big, Peter. This is very big. There is definitely something here.
Peter: Egon, this reminds me of the time you tried to drill a hole through your head. You remember that?
Egon: That would have worked if you hadn't stopped me.
(A middle aged man, the Head of the Library, Roger, walks up to them.)
Roger: I'm Roger Delicore. Are you the men from the university?
Peter: Yes. I'm Dr. Venkman. (points to Ray and Egon) Dr. Stantz, Egon.
Roger: Thank you for coming. I hope we can clear this up quickly and quietly.
Peter: Let's not rush things. We don't even know what you have yet.
(They walk over to where Alice is lying on top of a table.)
Alice: I don't remember seeing any legs, but it definitely had arms because it reached out for me.
Ray: Arms?! I can't wait to get a look at this thing!
Peter: Alice, I'm going to ask you a few standard questions, okay? Have you or any of your family ever been diagnosed schizophrenic, mentally incompetent?
Alice: My uncle thought he was St. Jerome.
Peter: I'd call that a big yes. Uh, are you habitually using drugs, stimulants, alcohol?
Alice: No!
Peter: No, no. Just asking. Are you, Alice, menstruating right now?
Roger: What has that got to do with it?
Peter: Back off, man. I'm a scientist.
Egon: Ray, it's moving.

(Library Basement)
(The guys have made it down to the basement. Egon walks in front with his PKE meter. Ray is second, carrying a video camera, and Peter is in the rear. Peter looks really bored. He makes some scary gestures at Ray as they come upon a 10-foot tall tower of books.)
Ray: Look!
Egon: This is hot, Ray.
Ray: Symmetrical book stacking, just like the Philadelphia mass turbulence of 1947.
Peter: You're right. No human being would stack books like this.
Ray: Listen! You smell something? (they walk over to the card catalog and see that it's dripping with slime) Talk about telekinetic activity! Look at this mess!
Egon: Raymond, look at this.
Ray: Ectoplasmic residue.
Egon: Venkman, get a sample of this.
Ray: It's the real thing!
Peter: Somebody blows their nose and you want to keep it?
Egon: I'd like to analyze it.
(Ray and Egon continue walking forward. Peter scrapes some slime into a petrie dish. He manages to get it all over his hands. He flicks some of it away and wipes his hands on some of the book spines.)
Ray: There's more over here!
Egon: I'm getting stronger readings here, this way.
Ray: Come on.
(They turn a corner. Peter hands Egon the slime.)
Peter: Egon, your mucus. (A bookshelf falls over with a crash.) This happen to you before? (Ray shakes head 'no'.) Oh, first time? (Ray nods.)
(They continue forward. Egon's PKE meter starts going haywire. They look up and see the ghost. It's a lady, and she appears to be wearing a Victorian style dress. She floats in mid-air reading a book.)
Egon: It's here.
Ray: A full torso apparition, and it's real.
Peter: So what do we do? (Neither Ray nor Egon reply.) Could you come over here and talk to me for a second, please? (he grabs Ray by the ear and drags him behind another bookshelf, out of site. Egon follows.) Could you just come over here for a second, please? Right over here. Come here, Francine! Come here. What do we do?
Ray: I don't know. What do you think?
(Egon starts fiddling with his calculator, but Peter slaps it away)
Peter: Stop that!
Ray: We've got to make contact. One of us should actually try to speak to it.
Egon: Good idea.
(They both look at Peter. He groans and goes to the ghost. Ray starts taking pictures.)
Peter: Hello. I'm Peter. Where are you from? Originally.
Ghost: Ssh.
Peter: (walks back to the guys.) All right. Okay, the usual stuff isn't working.
Ray: Okay, I have a plan. I know exactly what to do. Now stay close, stay close. I know. Do exactly as I say. Ready, ready, get her!
(As they move to grab the ghost she morfs into a really scary monster ghost. The guys get freaked and the run out of the Library. As they hit the steps in front of the building they keep on running. Roger runs after them, shouting.)
Roger: Did you see it? What was it?
Peter: We'll get back to you!
Roger: What?!

(Columbia University)
(Peter, Ray, and Egon are on their way back to the lab. Peter is laughing at Ray.)
Peter: Hee, hee, hee! Get her. That was your whole plan. Get her. It was scientific.
Ray: I just got overexcited. But wasn't it incredible, Pete? I mean, we actually touched the etheric plane. You know what this could mean to the university?
Peter: Yeah, it's gonna be bigger than the microchip. Ray, I'm very excited.
Egon: (working with calculator) I wouldn't say the experience was totally wasted. According to these new readings, I think we have an excellent chance of actually catching a ghost and holding it indefinitely.
Ray: Well, this is great! If this ionization rate is constant for all ectoplasmic entities, we could really bust some heads! In a spiritual sense, of course.
Peter: Spengs? You serious about this catching a ghost?
Egon: I'm always serious.
Peter: Egon, I'm gonna take back some of the things I've said about you. You... you've earned it.
(He gives Egon a candy bar.)

Friday, October 28, 2011

Case Study No. 0030: Dan Paquette

Dan, the Librarian at Rt 20 Funnies 3/25/10 Part 1
5:51
no description available
Tags: Dan The Librarian Part 1
Added: 1 year ago
From: jczernich
Views: 61

DAN: I actually used to be a librarian in Springfield, which was great, y'know, because people are like "Librarian, how dangerous can it be? Really though, in Springfield, like waddaya got? A papercut or dust kicking up your allergies?"
[audience laughs]
DAN: But my childrens' room was actually shot at twice ... Yeah, so we had to instill this guncheck policy. We didn't take the guns away from anyone, we just made sure they had silencers on 'em.
[audience laughs]
DAN: Didn't wanna interrupt anyone's studies, y'know. So ...
[audience laughs]
DAN: Yeah, and I mean, it's getting freaky. I actually say I work with Coke White and the Library Seven Dwarves. I don't know if you know the Library Seven Dwarves? Homeless, Sleazy, Sleepy, Druggy, Drunky, Creepy, and Perv ...
[audience laughs]

[...]

DAN: So, I know what you're probably thinking, too. "Damn, you're a librarian by day, comedian by night. You must get all the women!"
[audience laughs]
DAN: Yeah. Uh, let me just dispel that myth for you right now. I go out to a bar and I just, I mean, I have no skills. What kinda pickup line is a childrens' librarian gonna have? What am I, gonna go up to a girl and be like "Hey, wanna see my Harry Potter?"
[audience laughs]
DAN: "Come on, it doesn't have any Hogwarts, y'know" ...
[audience laughs]

[...]

DAN: I was just working the other day, and this lady, she brought in these two books. Unless you get 'em at the same time, you don't realize their subtle undertones, so I brought them with me just to show you guys ...
[he picks up two childrens' books]
DAN: The first one is "I See Myself." Harmless little book, right? But you add the second title, it sorta changes ... "I See Myself." "I Get Wet."
[audience laughs]
DAN: Now, I don't know if you guys find that as freaky as I did ... but I felt the best way to spend some taxpayer money would be just to look for more of these. And this same author's not so subtle on some of her other books ...
[he picks up another childrens' book]
DAN: She has ones like "Gobs of Goo." It's a love story about a boy, his Jergens, and a tissue.
[audience laughs]
DAN: Yeah ...
[he picks up another childrens' book]
DAN: My wife's always telling me to "Eat the Right Stuff" ... and I don't think she was talking about a salad, y'know. Well, that one goes over bigger in Northampton, I dunno.
[audience laughs]
DAN: This one's good. Do you guys have kids? Anyone out here have kids?
[some audience members clap]
DAN: Yeah? This one's good if you have to teach 'em about birth control.
[he picks up another childrens' book]
DAN: "Why You Can't Unscramble an Egg."
[audience laughs]
DAN: After a long night of drinking, I always wake up in the morning and ask myself the same question ...
[he picks up another childrens' book]
DAN: Hmm. "Solid, Liquid or Gas"?
[audience laughs]
[he picks up two childrens' books]
DAN: "Bangs and Twangs"? And usually after all banging and twanging, there's some "Squirts and Spurts."
[audience laughs]
[he picks up another childrens' book]
DAN: "Inspector Bodyguard Patrols the Land of U" ...
[audience laughs]
[heckler yells out "I need that book!"]
DAN: [laughs] You need that book? Don't worry, the pages don't open ...
[audience laughs]
DAN: One more, and my personal favorite here, folks ...
[he picks up another childrens' book]
DAN: "More Balls Than Hands"!
[audience laughs]
DAN: Yeah, that's a paraplegic circle-jerk ...
[audience laughs]
DAN: But I'm gonna get going, we're gonna give the show back to Ian, because I don't know about you ...
[he picks up another childrens' book]
DAN: I've gotta go to the bathroom and check myself for some "Lumps, Bumps, and Rashes." Have a good night, everybody!
[audience applauds]

---

From danthelibrarian.com:

My name is Dan Paquette. I am not only a librarian, but I am also a comedian. This is something that I believe is a very rare mix...

I do have a masters degree in Library and Information Science, which usually shocks people for two reasons. One, the fact that I have a masters, and two, that you can get a masters in Library and Information Science. Its true. Get used to the power of your librarian (and start paying them more too)!

Biography

Dan Paquette is the youngest of four children, and has always tried to "upstage" his brothers and sister. When his sister graduated from an all womens college, he found a way to attend two at one time. Dan just had to become a librarian to do it.

Truthfully, Dan realized during his undergrad years in an accounting program that he did not want to work in a cubical for the rest of his life. So he entered the Library and Information Science program at Simmons College offered through Mount Holyoke. Standing out as a male in the profession, it was time to start standing up and making jokes about his surroundings. His unique subject has forced him to lay to rest rumors that librarian/comedians must be rich.

Dan has worked all over Massachusetts, New York and New England, at clubs like the Comedy Studio, the Comedy Connection and the Comic Strip Live. Dan's scariest performance to date was for the Academy at Swift River in Cummington, MA, a boarding school for boarding school rejects.

---

From davidrothman.net:

Dan the Librarian talking about being a librarian at Piccolo's in Westfield, MA.

I'm a big fan of George Carlin, Bill Hicks, Eddie Izzard, and Patton Oswalt - so suffice it to say that Dan's work isn't really my taste. Still, it is interesting to see a stand-up whose schtick is the fact that he has an MLIS.

"I am a librarian, just to get that out of the way. I used to work in the 19th most dangerous city in the country ... and I had to leave because it was getting pretty dangerous, my library was literally shot at twice ... So we had to instill this guncheck policy at my library. We didn't take the guns away from anyone, we just made sure they had silencers on them. We didn't wanna interrupt anyone's studies."

"I'm a childrens' librarian, you can remember that for the rest of the night ... and we just got a new mascot for our childrens' room, and so we decided to have a naming contest for our mascot, and some of the entries we got were a little off the wall ... My favorite was this one little boy wanted to name our mascot after rapper Fifty Cent. That's great, if you don't know, rapper Fifty Cent has been shot nine times. Yeah great, our mascot can get shot, but it's okay because he can write a bestseller 'Read Books or Die Trying'."

"People are always asking me why I got into comedy, that's 'cause I can drink at this job ... I certainly can't do it at the dayjob. Actually, it was my friend's birthday a couple weeks ago, and I figured I'd take him out on our lunch break and we decided to have a beer or something like that. And I went back to work and this little kid came up to me and said 'Mommy, why does he smell like Daddy before he hits me?' It's okay, I read him the book 'The Drunken Sailor' and it turned out okay ... "

Case Study No. 0029: Emily Skinner

Raymond James Commercial - "The Woman Who Lived Longer Than Any Person Who Has Ever Lived"
1:03
The first television spot of the "Tales of Financial Pragmatism" campaign for Raymond James, entitled "The Woman Who Lived Longer Than Any Person Who Has Ever Lived," tells the story of fastidious librarian Emily Skinner who, at the age of 187, still enjoys life to the fullest thanks to careful planning with her Raymond James financial advisor.
Tags: martin williams martin|williams raymond james advertisement commercial advert old woman
Added: 1 year ago
From: MartinWilliamsAdv
Views: 12,517

[scene opens with a young woman in turn of the century clothing riding a bicycle]
NARRATOR: Fastidious librarian Emily Skinner had a place for everything, and everything had its place.
[scenes of Skinner using a typewriter, hanging her diploma from Williamson College, and placing the silverware just perfectly on the dinner table]
NARRATOR: Each day was fueled by thorough preparation for events yet to come, whether that be next Tuesday's bridge club or the precisely organized retirement that lay ahead.
[an elderly Skinner is shown blowing out 100 candles on her birthday cake]
NARRATOR: Well, somewhere along the way, something quite extraordinary happened ...
[Skinner driving a car with "Just Married" on the back]
NARRATOR: Emily went right on living.
[Skinner is now typing on a laptop, and filling her wall with several diplomas from different schools]
NARRATOR: Longer than any person has ever lived.
[Skinner is blowing out the candles for her 123rd birthday]
NARRATOR: Oddly enough, she took it right in stride.
[Skinner is shown getting married again, to a much younger man]
NARRATOR: Because, you see, she had planned for every eventuality ... which meant, despite her years, she continued to have the means to live on however she saw fit.
[Skinner is playing pingpong, fishing, riding a motorcycle, and getting married again]
NARRATOR: And to this very day, Emily Skinner is still going strong ... even at the ripe old age of 187.
[Skinner runs off a ledge and goes hang-gliding]
NARRATOR: Life well planned.
["Raymond James. lifewellplanned.com"]

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From raymondjames.com:

In October 2010, Raymond James introduced the world to Emily Skinner, fastidious librarian and the woman who lived longer than anyone has ever lived – so far, to 187 years young. Among her talents for library science and longevity, Emily is also impeccably imaginary and the star of the first commercial for Raymond James's new national advertising campaign.

For more than a year, our firm has been working closely with Minneapolis-based marketing agency Martin|Williams to develop the campaign and to update the Raymond James brand. Guided by a new tagline, Life Well Planned, we have embarked on a mission to share "tales of financial pragmatism" with the world.

While Emily's tale is a tall one, at its core, it is the story of how persevering pragmatism and proactive planning can help anyone make the most of life – and of their life's work. The campaign is an extension of Raymond James' own prudent and steadfast approach to financial planning.

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From brandweek.com:

"Tales of Financial Pragmatism" might sound like a staid campaign theme, but Raymond James wrings some fun from the proposition in its latest work by Martin/Williams.

The first salvo in the push by the Minneapolis agency is a TV spot airing during the American League Championship Series. It tells the story of "fastidious librarian Emily Skinner," who, thanks to careful planning, lives life to the fullest—even at the age of 187. She's seen marrying younger men, beating a virile guy at ping pong and hang-gliding. "Life well planned" is the new tagline.

Tom Moudry, agency CCO and CEO, said an effort was made to find "an authentic voice" that would help the client stand out in a climate where consumers' tolerance for risk has drastically changed in recent years.

The spots will also air on CNN, and the media buy additionally includes The Wall Street Journal's site and the New Yorker iPhone app. Print is also in the mix.

The client in recent years has been a frugal ad spender, with outlays in the $10 million range, modest for the category, per Nielsen. It hired Omnicom's M/W about a year ago following a review, replacing IPG's Fitzgerald & Co. in Atlanta.